Gluttony

If I were ever to be guilty of one of the seven deadly sins, it would easily be gluttony. No, this is not a post about body issues, but a post about my love of food. I love food. I think I also love the act of eating, and it's comforting to me. When people are sad or depressed and say, "I just can't eat," I just don't get it. I can always eat, and I don't really have a "full" switch.

Until three days ago.

I don't know what my body is doing, but it isn't hungry. I'm not sick, I don't feel nauseous...I just don't have any desire to eat. I can think of some brides that would think, "Sweeet! Now I can lose 5 lbs. for the wedding!", and I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth but the truth is, I have a dress, and I need it to fit, and I don't need to lose any weight.

But, in the spirit of living life to the fullest, I've been trying to ride this wave of non-hunger, and see what it feels like to be a normal person, for whom thought of the next meal are not constantly on one's mind. In a way, it's kind of cool -- I feel like I can get more done with one less thing on my mind (and believe me, there is a lot on my mind this week!). It's also given me a chance to reflect on my regular eating behavior and mindset about food, and whether or not that's really healthy. On the one hand, I enjoy that I don't freak out about food and don't have those body image problems I did as a teenager (can you say "unfun?"). I enjoy being able to tell my students (especially my girls), "I love food," hopefully normalizing food for them and making it a not-scary object, giving them a different point of view than they may see in the media. On the other hand, from a health standpoint, I probably should eat a bit less, and I do ride that fine BMI line between "healthy" and "overweight" (this is, mind you, strictly medically speaking. Once again...I am not complaining about my body). In the end, I know it's all about "making healthy choices," a mantra that is repeated ad nauseum at work.

So, we'll see how long this little streak lasts but of all the times for food to become less appealing and less time-consuming, I suppose this is a good one. I have programs to print and errands to run and checks to mail and family and friends coming in this week to entertain.

I just hope that my appetite returns for the wedding cake.

Whirlwind

Christmas is fast approaching, and I got my shopping done early.

The wedding is coming, and things are...well for the most part, done. I'm crocheting myself iteration 4 of my shrug to wear over my dress because, you know, we have a foot of snow on the ground and it's cold. If I have time to make 4 shrugs/cardigans (plus one for Ann), I can't be in too bad shape, right?

I'm applying to grad school again. To get licensed to teach SS and English. Collective groan for more school. BUT, logically it makes a lot of sense. 1) I can earn more money eventually if I am licensed in VT. 2) I get to teach subjects I ENJOY! 3) When children come (not now, not in the next year, but in the next 3 or 4), I will be done with schooling. For now. We'll see where our location sets us this summer when Andy graduates, and whether this program pans out, but the application, if nothing else, opens up some doors, which is never a bad thing.

Wedding gifts have started arriving. What fun!

Great Grandma's cinnamon rolls are coming up for Christmas day, and I made buckeyes this weekend. Chava, dear, behold the midwest treat (which you probably know about, but if not...try them).

Buckeyes

1 lb peanut butter
1.5 lb powdered sugar (but realistically, it will probably take extra to get the right consistency)
2 sticks butter/margarine
Mix above ingredients, and add powdered sugar to obtain cookie-dough-like consistency.
Put in fridge for about half an hour or so to firm up the mixture. Then, roll small balls of mixture, place them on a plate or cookie sheet, and refrigerate again for about 10 minutes (again, to firm up).

Melt in double broiler:
6 oz chocolate chips
1/4 stick paraffin wax
(May need to double or triple for appropriate depth)

Spear peanut butter balls with toothpicks, and dip most of the way into the chocolate, leaving a small circle of tan on top of the buckeye. Place back on cookie sheet/plate and refrigerate for a bit (20 minutes or so should do it, but longer won't hurt).

Pack into tins and give to all your friends! YAY!

Anticipation

Advent is a nice time. I've never thought of it too intensely, but it's always festive and bright and lovely at Mass during the Christmas season, and it reminds me to prepare for Christmas in the right way.

This year, the anticipation of Christmas is doubled because, you see, shortly after Christmas another big day is coming for which we are also preparing...the wedding. I'm happy that we've decided to do a holiday wedding. The timing is nice, it will also be festive and bright, and I'll get to see many important people around an important time of year. But tally-ho are things busy around here!

I've said to my local friends a few times that I feel as if this is the first time I've really had a chance to celebrate the holidays since I began college. Every other year has been too busy and focused on things outside of the holiday season -- college, papers, project, grading, testing, etc. But this year, with a job that lets me, for the most part, leave the work at work, and with the Affianced and I having our own home (humble though our apartment may be), we've had a chance to decorate our first tree, put out my Nativity set for the first time in years, enjoy the Christmas specials on TV (along with an absurd amount of House), and it's been really nice.

So, although busy, this particular Advent season has been twice-anticipatory, and I'm getting more and more excited about both big days that are coming up!

Insanity

When it rains it pours.

Life is good right now, but oh-so-hectic. It's the beginning of the trimester, which is alternately good and slightly insane. There's a new group of kids, new topics, which is fun and interesting, but the bad news is that in this first three weeks, we need to write unit plans.

I can hardly complain; at my old job, we had to turn in lesson plans for EVERY DAY. Now, we just have to turn in one vague document at the beginning of the trimester outlining what we're doing, and that's it. Done. So it's not such a big deal. But it is more work that the rest of the trimester, and it's a lot at once. Add on top of that the small matter of a wedding, and life can be pretty crazy.

I had an interesting conversation with my supervisor last week, about the rubrics we write that go along with the unit plans. I was asking her about some logistics in writing and using rubrics to assess students, and she said to me, "You know, I've meant to tell you...your rubrics are way detailed." The underlying hint was, "Dude, you don't need to work so hard." I've seen some rubrics/unit plans from other teachers, which, to be fair, are far more simplified, and I can see the appeal in that -- quicker to get done, can apply to more than one student, more flexibility on a class to class basis, etc. And I struggle with things like this, when I know that I could very well make things easier on myself and still be within the acceptable range. But I have a drive to overthink, overdo, overplan, and it really helps me to go into class feeling prepared. I know what's coming up week to week, I know the trajectory my students and I are taking, and coming from an education background, I can't feel ok with NOT giving each student and their class the personal attention of a thoughtful and personalized unit. So I toil, and give in to my slightly OCD nature on things like this, getting everything done just so. It's dually a gift and a burden, like so many things.

Meme

For dear Chava, who tagged me:

Time for the MeMe... :-) The rules state that you must answer each question with only one word, so here goes:

1. Where is your cell phone? Bookbag

2. Where is your significant other? Computer

3. Your hair color? Boring

4. Your mother? Catholic

5. Your father? To-the-point

6. Your favorite thing? Food

7. Your dream last night? None

8. Your dream/goal? Improvement

9. The room you’re in? Bedroom

11. Your fear? Boredom

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Canada

13. Where were you last night? Sleep

14. What you’re not? Touchy-feely

15. One of your wish-list items? Warmth

16. Where you grew up? Ohio

17. The last thing you did? Reading

18. What are you wearing? Slippers

19. Your TV? Off

20. Your pet? None

21. Your computer? Lifeline

22. Your mood? Weekend!

23. Missing someone? Family

24. Your car? Eloise

25. Something you’re not wearing? Cheese

26. Favorite store? Target

27. Your summer? Beautiful

28. Love someone? Yes

29. Your favorite color? Green

30. When is the last time you laughed? Cribbage

31. Last time you cried? Hmmm


I'm supposed to tag five blogs. I don't know five blogs. So, I tag Sarah and Ann, and remind Ann that her blog was really wonderful for the month is lasted and perhaps it should start up again. :)

Pro-Life and the Election

I don't keep up with many blogs, but I have a gateway into the Catholic blogosphere through dear Mimsy and Sarah. I enjoy the weekly Catholic Carnival (although I rarely have the time to read it thoroughly), and have found some good posts through it.

But one thing that has consistently irked me throughout the past election season are the Pro-Life/Pro-McCain/Anti-Obama-on-the-basis-of-his-pro-choice-stand posts that turn up again and again. Now, to lay it honestly on the table...I personally would consider myself to be pro-life in the sense that I hope and pray that abortion would end. But most Catholics would disagree with my self-label, because I don't think abortion should be illegal. I think this presents a host of tough logistical issues (i.e. more "back-room" and even more unsafe abortions inevitably happening with less quality medical care and safety for mothers/patients), and I also think it's a bad band-aid for the problems of people having unwanted pregnancies (such as lack of education, poverty, etc.). I know I'm liberal on this, and I know many Catholics disagree, and I'm ok with that. There it is.

Having said that, the aspect of this whole thing that bothers me, is that the bloggers who post about their pro-McCain status and claim the pro-life issue as the most important issue ignore a crucial fact: Both the candidates were pro-death penalty. It frustrates me to no end that the pro-life movement consistently ignores this facet of the "life" issue when painting McCain as a rosy pro-lifer because he opposes abortion. Abortion is not the only life issue at hand. One of the anthems of the pro-life movement is "respect for life at all stages, from conception to natural death." Lethal injection, electric chair, etc = unnatural death.

I'm not saying, by any means, that Obama was a better candidate for the life issue. He wasn't, and isn't. But I get very angry at the selective filter that I so often see Catholics apply to the information they receive and share, and this was a huge instance of that. I think it makes us look ignorant and inconsistent, and the world needs to see a better sense of logic from us, or at the very least an acknowledgement that some matters are far more grey than we care to admit; in this case, that so many Catholic's pro-life candidate isn't a perfect pro-lifer.

Stuffing

A friend who, God knows, knows her way around the kitchen, asked for my stuffing recipe. To be fair, it is Dad's stuffing recipe, and, to be more fair, to call it a "recipe" seems generous. It is, rather, a "throw-together" of ingredients in quantities to suit ones needs and tastes.

George was not the primary cook in our house growing up. He did, however, have a few staples he contributed on an occasional basis i.e. chili, grilled cheese and tomato soup, biscuits and gravy, and all things grilled. In my adulthood, I have called home several times to request his recipes, and I get a vague list of ingredients and a set of the aforementioned "throw together" directions. This generally suits me just fine, as I tend to care little for measuring and precision in my cooking (I have learned throughout time that these virtues are more important to baking, however, and try to stick to them).

So, for dear Astra Libris, here is George's Thanksgiving Stuffing.

George's Stuffing

Some celery
Some onions
Some (lots of) butter
Some (more than you think you need) toast
Some (chicken) broth
Some salt
Some pepper
Some poultry seasoning

Directions:
1. Toast bread to light golden. Or charred burniness. Or slight crispness with mushy insides. It doesn't really matter. Let sit for awhile. Break or cut into cubes or small pieces and soak in chicken broth. (I added an old stale corn muffin to my bread "crumbs." It was good. I also used all bread heels since Andy and I tend not to like them for usual bread use.)

2. Sautee some celery and some onions in butter (lots if it's Thanksgiving and you're going for flavor, less if you're watching your figure). Let cook to desired crunchiness (totally soggy for me).

3. Drain excess broth from bread crumbs, or don't, if you like really moist stuffing. Mix veggies into bread. Add liberal amounts of salt or pepper, and more than liberal amounts of poultry seasoning.

4. Bake inside or outside bird. Consume in mass quantities.

Thanksgiving

When I was growing up, I remember getting up "early" on Thanksgiving (which is relative when you have a father that rises at 6:00 am regardless of day of the week), and smelling toast. It was Dad's beginning of homemade stuffing, and it was my favorite thing to help with when I was younger.

Today is my first Thanksgiving alone, and although it's kind of sad in some ways, it's also my first chance to cook a Thanksgiving meal by myself, too, which is kind of exciting. I'm not going all out -- I bought Turkey fillets instead of a bird or breast, and, frankly, my mashed potatoes are coming from a box. But I did do the homemade stuffing thing, and it's smelling pretty awesome in the oven right now.

It's also nice because today I have the chance to make Thanksgiving anything I want it to be. I got up this morning to go to Mass, which was lovely. After the homily, everyone in the church brought up the bags of groceries they had brought to church as an offering for the needy, which was a really nice symbolic thing for Thanksgiving. I felt like a bum because I hadn't brought anything, but the giving tree is up in the back of the church, so I think Andy and I will take a couple of the family needs from there this weekend to buy for Christmas.

After Mass, I put on my iPod, queued up George Winston's Winter album, and went for a walk in the park. The weather here in Thanksgiving-perfect. Chilly, but not cold at all, a bit windy, and a little overcast. The park was pretty empty, but really nice, and I felt very autumnal.

And now, the mini-pies are in the oven, the turkey and stuffing are baking, and I'm awaiting a phone call from the extended fam at home. Life is good.

Flex class

Today at work, we got our new schedules for the next trimester. This is an exciting thing, because we learn not only what we're going to be teaching (very broadly), but who we're going to be working with as far as students are concerned. My schedule this time had a big cool surprise: I get to work in a couple of flex classes, which are small, interdisciplinary classes with groups of students and teachers.

This is unusual for our school. Generally, the work we do with students is strictly one-on-one, but as students become comfortable being in groups and develop the skills to handle such interactions appropriately, they might move into one of these classes. Today, as I sat with two of the other three teachers and worked on planning out the first day of class, I was struck by how "intentional" we had to be as far as creating a group was concerned.

Now, "intentional" is a word that gets thrown around a lot at our school, to the point where it sometimes begins to feel meaningless. But being intentional is a big part of the work we do. We try to make sure that our students have intentional interactions with other students, as opposed to unplanned interactions. We try to make sure that the ways we speak to our students and the things we teach them are intentional, that we've thought them through in terms of their academic and therapeutic needs. It doesn't always play out to be quite as intense as it sounds, but it's a good overarching idea to keep in the back of our mind as we go through a day working with students who have the kinds of needs that our students do.

With this flex class, though, we did have to be exceptionally intentional about building up the idea of a group with these students. Luckily, all of them have had group learning experiences in the past, but in building relationship with one another in this context, we had to really think through the way we were going to address thinking of ourselves as a class; how we were going to help students' come to realizations about what they can expect from the group and what they can do to contribute to the group. It was an interesting process, and it really made me stop and think about why we do things as slowly and, yes, intentionally, as we do in our school.

It also made me realize how exceptionally lucky most of us are that we can build these types of relationships with one another without such intense guidance; but also how it really IS possible for our students to make progress (even when they seem like they can't) as long as someone is willing to take the time to break things down for them. Working in this job has really given me an appreciation of "individual differences," as we call it in education, and of the benefits of taking things slow. I've really had some epiphanies about what kind of person I am (quick thinking and quick moving and always busy with my hands in something) and the benefits of being another type of person with different kinds of gifts. I feel like I've done as much work on myself in this job as I've done with the students, which is hard but also very gratifying.

Name change update

Today, I was talking to George, and he asked, "Hey, what's your last name?"

Clearly, it is still WXXXXX, but he was asking about the post-wedding name decision.

"It's undecided," I told him.
"Well, that's less decisive that the last time I talked. Look at you, turning traditional and anti-Vermont on us."
While that sunk in, I realized he thought I was deciding between hyphenating or taking the Affianced's name. "Uh, no...the decision is between hyphenating or not changing at all."
"Oh...so you are going all Vermont on us."
"Yeah."
"Well, good luck with that.