On the way home from his visit with me for Thanksgiving week, the Affianced got stuck in Washington DC for two night. Mechanical errors and then Thanksgiving over-bookings did not work in his favor. The first night was inconvenient. The second night was really inconvenient, as he really needed to be at home working on projects for school.
When he called me at the end of the day yesterday and told me he was stuck for another night, I felt huge guilt. I knew I should go drive up to DC and be with him, but I also had a big big amount of work to get started on. I wanted to see him, but I also wanted to not get behind. I struggled for awhile, but in the end, I told myself, "You know, Becky, this marriage thing is a choice. It's not always going to be easy or fun (although most of the time it is), but these are the things a supportive significant other does." So I made the choice: I drove to DC last night, about three hours away, arriving around 9:00, just in time to have dinner with Andy, play a round or two of text-twist and watch the end of the Patriot's game with him, and go to sleep. Then, four and a half hours later, I was up again to avoid the early morning Monday-after-Thanksgiving DC traffic and be back in time for my 9:00am class. It wasn't exactly fun, but it was good to see Andy, if only for 8 hours.
As a result, the day has been a bit of a haze, but I have gotten a start on my graduate research project for my Young Adult Lit class, which is a huge relief. I was building it up to be a bigger deal than it actually is, so to sit down and start writing the lit review half of the paper is a major stumbling block to have overcome. And frankly, I think this paper is going to be good.
On a similar note, I finished a draft of my Abnormal Psychology Curriculum unit last night, and I'm so proud of it! It was 123 pages to print off (keeping in mind, of course, that many of those pages were worksheets and the like), but it's comprehensive, and has a lot of good resources, and I think it does a good job showing what I have learned about teaching (or at least planning for) gifted kids. I'm so psyched to teach it in the spring!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and although it's a little strange to not be home this year (and a little sad, too), I'm nonetheless extremely thankful that 1) I have the Affianced here this week to celebrate with me, which is a welcome break from the Long Distance Relationship, even if it is only only temporary, and 2) We have been invited to my supervisor's house today for Thanksgiving dinner, which means we'll have all the fun and traditional thanksgiving stuff AND I get to be the pie contributor, which means I get to bake this morning! YAY!
Also, the parade is on.
Off to peel apples. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Also, the parade is on.
Off to peel apples. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Internal Consistency
I just scored an 79% on an online midterm. That's a C (a high C, but a C). Now, this is not a grade that I'm particularly comfortable with, but as I get older and start to look at the value of test grades vs. actual learning, I'm starting to understand that perhaps tests aren't everything. So here is my rationalization.
1) The average score for the class (thus far) is an 80%.
2) I forgot that one of the lectures was not in my notebook -- I had a powerpoint printed off, and simply forgot about it, and didn't study it. Having said that, I thought I knew the information alright, but surely looking over it would have been helpful. There is no one to blame but myself for this.
3) After taking the test, I went back through my notes to get an idea of what I missed and what I did wrong. Of course, I didn't have the test questions in front of me, but I mostly remembered the ones I was unsure about, and found the real answers to a couple that I did get wrong. Although it didn't show in my test score, that's also learning.
Re: #3, I'm beginning to see the value of learning over grades, which I think is important. And that's something that certainly has only come since grad school.
So, there you have it. Perhaps my lowest test grade ever (I exaggerate. But only slightly). Guess it's time to take this class a little more seriously.
1) The average score for the class (thus far) is an 80%.
2) I forgot that one of the lectures was not in my notebook -- I had a powerpoint printed off, and simply forgot about it, and didn't study it. Having said that, I thought I knew the information alright, but surely looking over it would have been helpful. There is no one to blame but myself for this.
3) After taking the test, I went back through my notes to get an idea of what I missed and what I did wrong. Of course, I didn't have the test questions in front of me, but I mostly remembered the ones I was unsure about, and found the real answers to a couple that I did get wrong. Although it didn't show in my test score, that's also learning.
Re: #3, I'm beginning to see the value of learning over grades, which I think is important. And that's something that certainly has only come since grad school.
So, there you have it. Perhaps my lowest test grade ever (I exaggerate. But only slightly). Guess it's time to take this class a little more seriously.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Social Network
The other day at my counseling intake interview, the woman, Courtney, asked me how my social life was here at WM. I told her that my social circle was small, but just the right size for the amount of time I have. I pondered this when I went home. It's interesting, because in most other situations, I would be bummed that I don't know more people. But really, the people I do know are fantastic, and I feel totally friend-sated.
First, there is Kathryn, by far the closest thing I have to my other half here. We work together, which is great, because I need someone to write me absurd e-mails (or, more accurately, reply to my firstly-absurd e-mails) and entertain me when I should be working at the Center but really don't want to. Kathryn is great to talk to, and shares my love of binge eating...which isn't always good for my waist-line or eventual stomach-ache, but has been good for chilling out a little and not stressing about my weight (which is fine and holding relatively steady...and I'm still going to the gym, yay for me).
Then there is Dave. Dave is funny and talkative and, as he puts it, an "open book." This is totally true. One morning, while waiting in line for the bike sale, Dave told me his life story. Well, mostly. I was totally in a "want to go back to bed" stupor, so I just nodded along. Later, he tried to retell all the stories one night when we all went out for a drink, and I was finishing all his sentences for him and ruining the ending. He didn't have as much to talk about then, but it was pretty funny. Dave is dependable.
There are also Ben and Eric. These are Dave's roommates. They are funny guys, and exact opposites, Eric being over-the-top outspoken and very politically incorrect, and Ben being quiet and introspective. He doesn't talk much, but what he says is also poignant and insightful. They're both good guys.
And really, that's it. My roommate had to leave me, and the new one is nice enough, although essentially absent. In January, we eagerly await the arrival of the indomitable Katie Baker, back from her hiatus in Ohio where she was completing her first book about the middle-school social scene at WM Law School. I can't to have her back.
I like my new friends.
First, there is Kathryn, by far the closest thing I have to my other half here. We work together, which is great, because I need someone to write me absurd e-mails (or, more accurately, reply to my firstly-absurd e-mails) and entertain me when I should be working at the Center but really don't want to. Kathryn is great to talk to, and shares my love of binge eating...which isn't always good for my waist-line or eventual stomach-ache, but has been good for chilling out a little and not stressing about my weight (which is fine and holding relatively steady...and I'm still going to the gym, yay for me).Then there is Dave. Dave is funny and talkative and, as he puts it, an "open book." This is totally true. One morning, while waiting in line for the bike sale, Dave told me his life story. Well, mostly. I was totally in a "want to go back to bed" stupor, so I just nodded along. Later, he tried to retell all the stories one night when we all went out for a drink, and I was finishing all his sentences for him and ruining the ending. He didn't have as much to talk about then, but it was pretty funny. Dave is dependable.
There are also Ben and Eric. These are Dave's roommates. They are funny guys, and exact opposites, Eric being over-the-top outspoken and very politically incorrect, and Ben being quiet and introspective. He doesn't talk much, but what he says is also poignant and insightful. They're both good guys.
And really, that's it. My roommate had to leave me, and the new one is nice enough, although essentially absent. In January, we eagerly await the arrival of the indomitable Katie Baker, back from her hiatus in Ohio where she was completing her first book about the middle-school social scene at WM Law School. I can't to have her back.
I like my new friends.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Red, Orange, and Yellow
Today, I left my apartment after a relative sleep-in (which was glorious) only to find it spitting rain. Scrapping my well-intentioned decision to ride my bike to work and therefore be kind to the environment, I walked toward the Gradplex parking lot with my head down, trying to keep the rain off my glasses, which is by far the most annoying thing about wearing glasses in the first place. As I was staring at my shoes, I came across a pile of leaves, and realized they were a brilliant yellow. I forced myself to look up, and realized that I had totally missed the leaves changing color. It's not as brilliant as I've seen some places before, but a good deal of the trees around the Gradplex were lovely shades of non-green. It made me realize that, perhaps, I've not been taking enough time to enjoy the small things and notice that, in fact, the seasons are changing.
Then it continued to rain all day, making all walks outside miserable. C'est la vie.
Then it continued to rain all day, making all walks outside miserable. C'est la vie.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Outrageously Good
I have one professor here I truly respect at the moment, and today he handed us back our long take-home midterms that he had graded. My final essay (of 4) was deemed "Outrageously good." It's so nice to get criticism that I feel is deserved and that I worked hard for.
Tomorrow is a day of insanity -- there is work at the Center, a lot of work to be done for Thursday and a presentation I'm giving, and some work-ahead on a chunk of lesson plans due next Monday. But, among other things, it's also the first day of counseling at the counseling center! I realize that tomorrow is only going to be intake, but I cannot wait to meet with someone who will nicely sit and listen to me ramble about my poor confusing career crisis with interest. And hopefully offer me some good problem-solving solutions so I can sort out my future.
But, I am also taking some time tomorrow night to visit with Kathryn and eat cheese puffs -- both extremely important things. I am truly becoming better at taking breaks and not freaking out about working ahead, and it's making me feel much more mentally healthy. Having said that, I really must get started on this literature research project...
On a totally random note, I wanted to post a picture of the Affianced and I at Notre Dame a couple weekends ago. Because we heart ND.
Tomorrow is a day of insanity -- there is work at the Center, a lot of work to be done for Thursday and a presentation I'm giving, and some work-ahead on a chunk of lesson plans due next Monday. But, among other things, it's also the first day of counseling at the counseling center! I realize that tomorrow is only going to be intake, but I cannot wait to meet with someone who will nicely sit and listen to me ramble about my poor confusing career crisis with interest. And hopefully offer me some good problem-solving solutions so I can sort out my future.
But, I am also taking some time tomorrow night to visit with Kathryn and eat cheese puffs -- both extremely important things. I am truly becoming better at taking breaks and not freaking out about working ahead, and it's making me feel much more mentally healthy. Having said that, I really must get started on this literature research project...
On a totally random note, I wanted to post a picture of the Affianced and I at Notre Dame a couple weekends ago. Because we heart ND.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
...If We Are Women
Last week in my Young Adult Literature class, we read a novel called Speak using Feminist Literary Theory. My professor wrote the book on theory we are using for the class (which is incidentally excellent), and one of the quotes he used in his text is from Virginia Wolff. It says, "For we think back through our mothers if we are women."
I was supremely bothered by this quote. I read it, and it sounded so nice, and I wanted to think back through my mother and her mother and the generations of mothers before them. But as a woman, I do not feel as if I think back through my mother. I love my mother, and I feel as if she is a good parent and a good person who contributed largely to raising me well, but I don't see myself as like her. From as far back as I can remember, I have been told that I "think like my father." I adopted this to this day identify myself as George's daughter -- stubborn and logical, highly-motivated, and perhaps not as sensitive as I should be toward others feelings. Of course these adjectives aren't the only four things that define me, but I have always felt that my personality was that of a Walter, despite the fact that my interests rested more on the Collins side of things (i.e. musical theater rather than basketball).
However, as I'm writing this, I'm starting to reconsider, because there is one aspect of my life that comes quite clearly from Ann - Catholicism. I suppose at this point I would consider myself to be a lapsed Catholic; I love and respect Catholic tradition, but have a problem with some of the social viewpoints to which Catholicism ascribes. I'm sure I'll come home to the Church eventually, but for now I can't with good conscious call myself practicing. But the Catholic way of thinking, the appreciation for the saints and prayer and the silence of an empty, vaulted church are aspects of my life that I do, indeed think back through my mother for. I am grateful for that.
I was supremely bothered by this quote. I read it, and it sounded so nice, and I wanted to think back through my mother and her mother and the generations of mothers before them. But as a woman, I do not feel as if I think back through my mother. I love my mother, and I feel as if she is a good parent and a good person who contributed largely to raising me well, but I don't see myself as like her. From as far back as I can remember, I have been told that I "think like my father." I adopted this to this day identify myself as George's daughter -- stubborn and logical, highly-motivated, and perhaps not as sensitive as I should be toward others feelings. Of course these adjectives aren't the only four things that define me, but I have always felt that my personality was that of a Walter, despite the fact that my interests rested more on the Collins side of things (i.e. musical theater rather than basketball).
However, as I'm writing this, I'm starting to reconsider, because there is one aspect of my life that comes quite clearly from Ann - Catholicism. I suppose at this point I would consider myself to be a lapsed Catholic; I love and respect Catholic tradition, but have a problem with some of the social viewpoints to which Catholicism ascribes. I'm sure I'll come home to the Church eventually, but for now I can't with good conscious call myself practicing. But the Catholic way of thinking, the appreciation for the saints and prayer and the silence of an empty, vaulted church are aspects of my life that I do, indeed think back through my mother for. I am grateful for that.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I'm So Excited! I'm So Excited! I'm So...SCARED!
If you fair readers have ever experienced the pleasure of seeing the episode of Saved By The Bell entitled "Jessie's Song," in which Jessie gets addicted to "drugs" (i.e. No Doz), then you will understand the reference in the title. If not...consider yourself very unlucky and guy buy seasons I and II of SBTB immediately.
This week has brought an interesting mix of downtime and sheer terror as I look into the upcoming weeks. On the bright side, the evil busy work of student teaching has subsided. I haven't made my portfolio yet, in part because my professor is lazy and cannot manage to get me comments on her observation in a timely manner, but everything is nicely tucked into an accordion file ready to be sorted and placed ever-so-gently into page protectors when the time comes ("the time" being Thanksgiving break).
On the other hand, I have started looking forward to the upcoming few weeks, and for the time being, they appear a little insane. I have a group project and individual critique on the same topic due next week in class, and graduate research project that is a proportionally small part of my grade, but a huge part of fright due by the end of the semester. For said research paper (which is, incidentally, for my elective class, Young Adult Literature), the professor has told us that his goal for this particular paper is submission to an English journal. Um...I write APA style. I haven't touched MLA since high school. This is daunting. Tonight, Professor Moore asked me where I was on my project. My response? "It is currently non-existent." This is not entirely true. I have a lot of resources, and have been picking slowly through young adult novels on my theme (which is "Non-'problem' presentations of homosexuality in young adult literature"), but I haven't started seriously researching any of the literature on the topic, other than to read the novels themselves. Yikes.
Then there are two sets of gifted classroom observations due for two different classes (can we say redundant) which need to be scheduled and reflected upon. In the end, I know this will all be fine, but having been out of town to Notre Dame last weekend, which was wonderful and worth every minute NOT spent studying, and being out of town again this weekend for the National Association for Gifted Children convention, my loss of weekends for school work has been causing slight freakouts.
Just keep breathing.
On a totally different note, I've started to come to terms with the fact that I probably won't teach next year. On the one hand, this bums me out because I have always envisioned myself as a teacher, at least in the recent past. On the other hand, part of me is filled with glee: no lesson plans, no referrals, no early-early mornings, no Sunday night "Crap, I have to go to school tomorrow, I feel sick" feelings in the pit of my stomach. I think I'm going to find an equally thankless and poverty-ridden yet also rewarding job for some kind of non-profit (probably the liberal and progressive kind, what, with being in Vermont and all). The prospect of NOT being in the classroom fills me with equal parts sadness and joy. Teaching really is a job that requires a love-hate relationship...at least, the kind of teaching I did in Louisiana.
Off to be productive. No, seriously. Stop laughing. Interpreting Young Adult Literature, here I come.
This week has brought an interesting mix of downtime and sheer terror as I look into the upcoming weeks. On the bright side, the evil busy work of student teaching has subsided. I haven't made my portfolio yet, in part because my professor is lazy and cannot manage to get me comments on her observation in a timely manner, but everything is nicely tucked into an accordion file ready to be sorted and placed ever-so-gently into page protectors when the time comes ("the time" being Thanksgiving break).
On the other hand, I have started looking forward to the upcoming few weeks, and for the time being, they appear a little insane. I have a group project and individual critique on the same topic due next week in class, and graduate research project that is a proportionally small part of my grade, but a huge part of fright due by the end of the semester. For said research paper (which is, incidentally, for my elective class, Young Adult Literature), the professor has told us that his goal for this particular paper is submission to an English journal. Um...I write APA style. I haven't touched MLA since high school. This is daunting. Tonight, Professor Moore asked me where I was on my project. My response? "It is currently non-existent." This is not entirely true. I have a lot of resources, and have been picking slowly through young adult novels on my theme (which is "Non-'problem' presentations of homosexuality in young adult literature"), but I haven't started seriously researching any of the literature on the topic, other than to read the novels themselves. Yikes.
Then there are two sets of gifted classroom observations due for two different classes (can we say redundant) which need to be scheduled and reflected upon. In the end, I know this will all be fine, but having been out of town to Notre Dame last weekend, which was wonderful and worth every minute NOT spent studying, and being out of town again this weekend for the National Association for Gifted Children convention, my loss of weekends for school work has been causing slight freakouts.
Just keep breathing.
On a totally different note, I've started to come to terms with the fact that I probably won't teach next year. On the one hand, this bums me out because I have always envisioned myself as a teacher, at least in the recent past. On the other hand, part of me is filled with glee: no lesson plans, no referrals, no early-early mornings, no Sunday night "Crap, I have to go to school tomorrow, I feel sick" feelings in the pit of my stomach. I think I'm going to find an equally thankless and poverty-ridden yet also rewarding job for some kind of non-profit (probably the liberal and progressive kind, what, with being in Vermont and all). The prospect of NOT being in the classroom fills me with equal parts sadness and joy. Teaching really is a job that requires a love-hate relationship...at least, the kind of teaching I did in Louisiana.
Off to be productive. No, seriously. Stop laughing. Interpreting Young Adult Literature, here I come.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Sweet November
A few years ago, there was a terrible, terrible movie produced called Sweet November. It involved some painful acting by Charlize Theron, and some more-painful non-acting by Keaneau Reeves (because, really, we all know Reeves doesn't act -- he just plays the same character with different names). This entry had nothing to do with that movie.
I finished student teaching yesterday. It feels glorious to be done, and when I was sitting in class in the evening after the last long, long day, I felt giddy like it was summer. And I was free.
The end of teaching went well. The last two days, we were in the computer lab, which was fantastic because all the kids were engaged in what they were doing and having a good time. When I left, the kids all pitched in and bought me a cake and a Barnes and Noble gift card. It was so nice, and I was really touched. That does not mean I'm not thrilled to be finished.
And now it is November. Wonderful, cool, Thanksgiving-laden November. So many good things happen in November, including, you know, seeing the Affianced in person. On two separate occasions. I know. Hold on to your seats.
Today, I am flying to Notre Dame. I have become one of "those alumni" I never thought I'd be. The kind who goes back and gets nostalgic about the "great college years". The kind who might possibly someday bring her children dressed in tiny Notre Dame jerseys. Or, in our case, tiny band uniforms with tiny Shamrock awards for band practice perfect attendance. Glorious.
I finished student teaching yesterday. It feels glorious to be done, and when I was sitting in class in the evening after the last long, long day, I felt giddy like it was summer. And I was free.
The end of teaching went well. The last two days, we were in the computer lab, which was fantastic because all the kids were engaged in what they were doing and having a good time. When I left, the kids all pitched in and bought me a cake and a Barnes and Noble gift card. It was so nice, and I was really touched. That does not mean I'm not thrilled to be finished.
And now it is November. Wonderful, cool, Thanksgiving-laden November. So many good things happen in November, including, you know, seeing the Affianced in person. On two separate occasions. I know. Hold on to your seats.
Today, I am flying to Notre Dame. I have become one of "those alumni" I never thought I'd be. The kind who goes back and gets nostalgic about the "great college years". The kind who might possibly someday bring her children dressed in tiny Notre Dame jerseys. Or, in our case, tiny band uniforms with tiny Shamrock awards for band practice perfect attendance. Glorious.
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