Gifted education has a historical debate going on in which the nature of intelligence is defined either as g, or general intelligence vs. multiple intelligences, such as Howard Gardner's; he believes that there are 8/9 different intelligences, and that people possess them in different "amounts". The intelligences are linguistic, mathematical/logical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, naturalistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and he's in the process of considering spiritual intelligence for a 9th.
Sometimes in gifted ed, these multiple intelligences are referred to as talents, and there is a focus on talent development. This is a nice, broad view of giftedness, because it let's people be good at one thing and work to develop it rather than being globally gifted.
This semester, when I finally sat and thought about it, has been a good one for self reflection, although I'm not always sure I like what I see. I would tend to place myself on the conservative side of a definition of giftedness, working with the notion of g and calling giftedness equivalent to high IQ. Although I've never been IQ tested, I myself would fall into this category -- generally good at learning, bright across the school-types of intelligence. When I was in high school, I recognized this about myself, and felt better than people who were good at things, but didn't excel at school the way I did. Not in the sense of "I'm awesome and too good to hang out with you," but more in the sense of, "You don't get me." Which, to be fair, I still think might be true. Globally gifted kids do think different than other kids, I believe, and in their own way approach the world in a unique way. They have a particular set of social and emotional needs that may vary from other kids (who, of course, have a set of social and emotional needs, too).
Now I'm here, floundering in a sea of indecision about my future, and realizing that despite my schooling and excellent past academic performance, I am qualified to do nothing. I think about the jobs I could do next year, in the fields I want to work in (excluding education, for the time being), and the one that keeps popping into my head is "secretary." Now, there is nothing wrong with being a secretary -- I have the utmost respect for people who run offices and make things work on a day to day basis. Frankly, I wouldn't even mind doing the job for the short-term -- it's useful and you can see the effects of it. That's important to me. It's just that, unless I were the secretary for an organization I truly cared about, like a nonprofit in which I were a founding member, or (this is for you, Sarah and Mom) a church I felt very connected to, then secretary doesn't seem the greatest use for my years and years of education.
So I'm looking back, and thinking about those people I knew in high school who, although perhaps not as good as performing in school, are happy and have a job and a life. As I teeter over a precipice with no prospects ahead of me career-wise, I envy them. I hate to say I'd trade my global intelligence for a particular talent, but at this point, I wish I had a single passion that I could really dedicate my life to. This is the same reason I could never get a Ph. D. I don't like any one thing enough to dedicate that much time to it, which is a shame, because I know I have the capability to pursue higher education.
I wish I had a thing, an interest, a specific talent I could use to make something of myself, because right now, I feel as if my combination of knowledge and skills is pretty useless.
2 comments:
If you were someone else, I would say, "Pray about it." But since you're YOU, and that's the sort of advice I won't so much give YOU (for a set of reasons that are their own post, really, but which boil down to, "well, I think I get you sometimes, and you won't so much appreciate that sort of advice")
First, I'm with you. I WANT a PhD in the worst way - always have. But in what? I can think of five things...or nothing. There's not one thing I want to be an expert in (except maybe dealing with life on no sleep and keeping a cheerful attitude, but I'm pretty sure that isn't a choice). And I think you hit it with the global intelligence thing - I never thought of that; I never knew about that.
However, I think, as you get older and get married and have kids and meander through life, you may find yourself surprised by the things you are interested in. And then, whether you end up as a secretary (lemme just tell ya, I was NEVAH gonna be a mom OR a secretary!!!) or as a corporate CEO or as a mom or whatever, you may find that the topic for your dissertation presents itself.
So even as I just said that I don't have one thing I would want to PhD in, there is one thing that is sort of creeping up on me. It's been happening for about a year more heavily, and, ironically, getting married and having kids is what triggered it. It's something I dreamed about as a little girl, back before Cynicism reared its head and made me Practical (though, really, being a teacher isn't such a practical thing, is it?, and that's what I was originally going to do, back in the undergrad days).
So maybe this is just part of where you're at, the age you're at, the part of your maturing process. And I think it's good that you're chronicalling (is that spelled right? I'm too lazy to check...) it here, because in five years, you'll be able to peek back and "ah-HA!" and answer your own questions.
Or not. :)
All I can add to your blog is....that time answers so many questions. You may end up doing something you never dreamed of. OR you may do what you have always dreamed of doing. It is an act of being patient and letting life happen. I always thought I'd be some great performer, but instead, I found out that what was in store for me was having three amazing kids! And I wouldn't trade that for the world. So try to do the daily stuff of life and have faith that the right answers will come your way.
Love you!
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