Forever

That's how long it's been, and although it may feel as if I have dropped you like a hotcake, oh bloggie-poo, that is not in fact that case. Rather, in the midst of my break from school I took a mental break as well, and that involved dropping all things that could possibly remind me of school, which include writing.

Yet much has happened! Christmas was nice and busy and full of much Christmas bounty, including some new clothes and a giant can of Scotch broth soup, courtesy of Mumsie. And a new watch, which is fantastic, as I am finally rid of the cycle of "I bought a cute new watch that was cheap at Target because I'm frugal but, uh-oh, there it goes breaking so I've really bought five in the last year, thus costing me the same as one good watch."

After the trip home, I went to the snowy wonderland of Vermont to see the Affianced. While there, we did many fun things, such as get my engagement ring fixed (silly setting kept bending but now it is straight and new and shiny and beautiful!), take the "Foccus" survey to make sure we are compatible in churchy ways before getting married (we are, no formal counseling needed), began wedding registries and...most excitingly...we had engagement pictures taken!


Since he and I don't reside in the same state, we don't have a ton of pictures of the two of us, so it is nice to have a big set to choose from. He also got me fantastical present for Christmas, such as:

My favorite movie in the ENTIRE WORLD on DVD...

A new robe, which I am seen here modeling...

And an electric toothbrush with a timer that shuts off after the two minutes of recommended brushing time.

Am I a lucky girl or what?

Just Can't Wait to Get On the Road Again

Tomorrow, I am going home. HOME!

I've been done with school for about a week, and it's been good to take a break. But I've been antsy to get home since then, and Williamsburg does not exactly have a happening social scene...and who am I kidding -- even if it did, I wouldn't be out there enjoying it, so I've been a little bored without schoolwork to do.

Tomorrow, bright and early, Kathryn and I will fly out to Columbus, and read crappy magazines on the plane, and then we will be home! Hooray!

g vs. talent

Gifted education has a historical debate going on in which the nature of intelligence is defined either as g, or general intelligence vs. multiple intelligences, such as Howard Gardner's; he believes that there are 8/9 different intelligences, and that people possess them in different "amounts". The intelligences are linguistic, mathematical/logical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, naturalistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and he's in the process of considering spiritual intelligence for a 9th.

Sometimes in gifted ed, these multiple intelligences are referred to as talents, and there is a focus on talent development. This is a nice, broad view of giftedness, because it let's people be good at one thing and work to develop it rather than being globally gifted.

This semester, when I finally sat and thought about it, has been a good one for self reflection, although I'm not always sure I like what I see. I would tend to place myself on the conservative side of a definition of giftedness, working with the notion of g and calling giftedness equivalent to high IQ. Although I've never been IQ tested, I myself would fall into this category -- generally good at learning, bright across the school-types of intelligence. When I was in high school, I recognized this about myself, and felt better than people who were good at things, but didn't excel at school the way I did. Not in the sense of "I'm awesome and too good to hang out with you," but more in the sense of, "You don't get me." Which, to be fair, I still think might be true. Globally gifted kids do think different than other kids, I believe, and in their own way approach the world in a unique way. They have a particular set of social and emotional needs that may vary from other kids (who, of course, have a set of social and emotional needs, too).

Now I'm here, floundering in a sea of indecision about my future, and realizing that despite my schooling and excellent past academic performance, I am qualified to do nothing. I think about the jobs I could do next year, in the fields I want to work in (excluding education, for the time being), and the one that keeps popping into my head is "secretary." Now, there is nothing wrong with being a secretary -- I have the utmost respect for people who run offices and make things work on a day to day basis. Frankly, I wouldn't even mind doing the job for the short-term -- it's useful and you can see the effects of it. That's important to me. It's just that, unless I were the secretary for an organization I truly cared about, like a nonprofit in which I were a founding member, or (this is for you, Sarah and Mom) a church I felt very connected to, then secretary doesn't seem the greatest use for my years and years of education.

So I'm looking back, and thinking about those people I knew in high school who, although perhaps not as good as performing in school, are happy and have a job and a life. As I teeter over a precipice with no prospects ahead of me career-wise, I envy them. I hate to say I'd trade my global intelligence for a particular talent, but at this point, I wish I had a single passion that I could really dedicate my life to. This is the same reason I could never get a Ph. D. I don't like any one thing enough to dedicate that much time to it, which is a shame, because I know I have the capability to pursue higher education.

I wish I had a thing, an interest, a specific talent I could use to make something of myself, because right now, I feel as if my combination of knowledge and skills is pretty useless.

Merry Tuba Christmas!

Last night, I took Kathryn on a top-secret mission to Richmond to introduce her to the wonderful world of Tuba Christmas. I found the event listed on the national Tuba Christmas website, but had no idea that it was taking place in conjunction with Richmond's Grand Illumination, the event where they turn on all the Christmas lights for the first time downtown for the season.

I did five official Tuba Christmas events while I was growing up with fellow band members. The event held in Columbus is a huge one, or was when I attended several years ago. They used to hold it at the Palace Theater downtown, and would have somewhere in the range of 350-500 tuba and euphonium players. In college, the ND basses from marching band would go around to the dorms and have our own unofficial Tuba Christmas during study days. Some of the rectors hated us, but most were really appreciative, and it was a nice break to the insane exam study-time.

Now, as a tuba player, I know my place. I understand the necessity to write sustained whole notes and the dreaded "oom-pahs" for band arrangements, but there is a certain kind of beauty when that is thrown out the window and Christmas Carols are arranged exclusively for bass-clef instruments. It's like a men's choir, but deeper and broader. And it's beautiful.

The Richmond event was much smaller, but they broke a record last night with 76 players, and I think Kathryn had a good time. It's a fun event, and I'm so proud to be a tuba player and to expose my non-tuba friends to something so unique.

5:00 Drive Home

On the way home from his visit with me for Thanksgiving week, the Affianced got stuck in Washington DC for two night. Mechanical errors and then Thanksgiving over-bookings did not work in his favor. The first night was inconvenient. The second night was really inconvenient, as he really needed to be at home working on projects for school.

When he called me at the end of the day yesterday and told me he was stuck for another night, I felt huge guilt. I knew I should go drive up to DC and be with him, but I also had a big big amount of work to get started on. I wanted to see him, but I also wanted to not get behind. I struggled for awhile, but in the end, I told myself, "You know, Becky, this marriage thing is a choice. It's not always going to be easy or fun (although most of the time it is), but these are the things a supportive significant other does." So I made the choice: I drove to DC last night, about three hours away, arriving around 9:00, just in time to have dinner with Andy, play a round or two of text-twist and watch the end of the Patriot's game with him, and go to sleep. Then, four and a half hours later, I was up again to avoid the early morning Monday-after-Thanksgiving DC traffic and be back in time for my 9:00am class. It wasn't exactly fun, but it was good to see Andy, if only for 8 hours.

As a result, the day has been a bit of a haze, but I have gotten a start on my graduate research project for my Young Adult Lit class, which is a huge relief. I was building it up to be a bigger deal than it actually is, so to sit down and start writing the lit review half of the paper is a major stumbling block to have overcome. And frankly, I think this paper is going to be good.

On a similar note, I finished a draft of my Abnormal Psychology Curriculum unit last night, and I'm so proud of it! It was 123 pages to print off (keeping in mind, of course, that many of those pages were worksheets and the like), but it's comprehensive, and has a lot of good resources, and I think it does a good job showing what I have learned about teaching (or at least planning for) gifted kids. I'm so psyched to teach it in the spring!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and although it's a little strange to not be home this year (and a little sad, too), I'm nonetheless extremely thankful that 1) I have the Affianced here this week to celebrate with me, which is a welcome break from the Long Distance Relationship, even if it is only only temporary, and 2) We have been invited to my supervisor's house today for Thanksgiving dinner, which means we'll have all the fun and traditional thanksgiving stuff AND I get to be the pie contributor, which means I get to bake this morning! YAY!

Also, the parade is on.

Off to peel apples. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Internal Consistency

I just scored an 79% on an online midterm. That's a C (a high C, but a C). Now, this is not a grade that I'm particularly comfortable with, but as I get older and start to look at the value of test grades vs. actual learning, I'm starting to understand that perhaps tests aren't everything. So here is my rationalization.

1) The average score for the class (thus far) is an 80%.
2) I forgot that one of the lectures was not in my notebook -- I had a powerpoint printed off, and simply forgot about it, and didn't study it. Having said that, I thought I knew the information alright, but surely looking over it would have been helpful. There is no one to blame but myself for this.
3) After taking the test, I went back through my notes to get an idea of what I missed and what I did wrong. Of course, I didn't have the test questions in front of me, but I mostly remembered the ones I was unsure about, and found the real answers to a couple that I did get wrong. Although it didn't show in my test score, that's also learning.

Re: #3, I'm beginning to see the value of learning over grades, which I think is important. And that's something that certainly has only come since grad school.

So, there you have it. Perhaps my lowest test grade ever (I exaggerate. But only slightly). Guess it's time to take this class a little more seriously.

Social Network

The other day at my counseling intake interview, the woman, Courtney, asked me how my social life was here at WM. I told her that my social circle was small, but just the right size for the amount of time I have. I pondered this when I went home. It's interesting, because in most other situations, I would be bummed that I don't know more people. But really, the people I do know are fantastic, and I feel totally friend-sated.

First, there is Kathryn, by far the closest thing I have to my other half here. We work together, which is great, because I need someone to write me absurd e-mails (or, more accurately, reply to my firstly-absurd e-mails) and entertain me when I should be working at the Center but really don't want to. Kathryn is great to talk to, and shares my love of binge eating...which isn't always good for my waist-line or eventual stomach-ache, but has been good for chilling out a little and not stressing about my weight (which is fine and holding relatively steady...and I'm still going to the gym, yay for me).

Then there is Dave. Dave is funny and talkative and, as he puts it, an "open book." This is totally true. One morning, while waiting in line for the bike sale, Dave told me his life story. Well, mostly. I was totally in a "want to go back to bed" stupor, so I just nodded along. Later, he tried to retell all the stories one night when we all went out for a drink, and I was finishing all his sentences for him and ruining the ending. He didn't have as much to talk about then, but it was pretty funny. Dave is dependable.

There are also Ben and Eric. These are Dave's roommates. They are funny guys, and exact opposites, Eric being over-the-top outspoken and very politically incorrect, and Ben being quiet and introspective. He doesn't talk much, but what he says is also poignant and insightful. They're both good guys.

And really, that's it. My roommate had to leave me, and the new one is nice enough, although essentially absent. In January, we eagerly await the arrival of the indomitable Katie Baker, back from her hiatus in Ohio where she was completing her first book about the middle-school social scene at WM Law School. I can't to have her back.

I like my new friends.

Red, Orange, and Yellow

Today, I left my apartment after a relative sleep-in (which was glorious) only to find it spitting rain. Scrapping my well-intentioned decision to ride my bike to work and therefore be kind to the environment, I walked toward the Gradplex parking lot with my head down, trying to keep the rain off my glasses, which is by far the most annoying thing about wearing glasses in the first place. As I was staring at my shoes, I came across a pile of leaves, and realized they were a brilliant yellow. I forced myself to look up, and realized that I had totally missed the leaves changing color. It's not as brilliant as I've seen some places before, but a good deal of the trees around the Gradplex were lovely shades of non-green. It made me realize that, perhaps, I've not been taking enough time to enjoy the small things and notice that, in fact, the seasons are changing.

Then it continued to rain all day, making all walks outside miserable. C'est la vie.

Outrageously Good

I have one professor here I truly respect at the moment, and today he handed us back our long take-home midterms that he had graded. My final essay (of 4) was deemed "Outrageously good." It's so nice to get criticism that I feel is deserved and that I worked hard for.

Tomorrow is a day of insanity -- there is work at the Center, a lot of work to be done for Thursday and a presentation I'm giving, and some work-ahead on a chunk of lesson plans due next Monday. But, among other things, it's also the first day of counseling at the counseling center! I realize that tomorrow is only going to be intake, but I cannot wait to meet with someone who will nicely sit and listen to me ramble about my poor confusing career crisis with interest. And hopefully offer me some good problem-solving solutions so I can sort out my future.

But, I am also taking some time tomorrow night to visit with Kathryn and eat cheese puffs -- both extremely important things. I am truly becoming better at taking breaks and not freaking out about working ahead, and it's making me feel much more mentally healthy. Having said that, I really must get started on this literature research project...



On a totally random note, I wanted to post a picture of the Affianced and I at Notre Dame a couple weekends ago. Because we heart ND.