Monday, September 17, 2007

Discernment

My roommate just told me that she's thinking about switching out of law school and into another graduate program, perhaps in policy, American studies, or educational administration. I had been getting the sense that she was really stressed out here, and was wondering just tonight if she really liked law school, so I'm really happy that she's looking into other things and working to find the best fit for her. The process of discernment is so wonderful -- I love looking into new things, trying things out, and I'm so happy for people when they find something they really want to do.

A few people quit Teach For America after our first year. TFA treats such people in a very weird way -- they immediately take their picture off the TFA bulletin board in the office, and the whole thing becomes very hush hush in the "Name that is no longer spoken" kind of way. But I have so much respect for people who are able to look at a situation, especially part-way through, and say, "Nope, this isn't for me. I thought it was. I thought wrong. Time to try again." Not that perpetual searching is necessarily profitable or even fiscally feasible, but I do believe that there is a right time and mission and path for everyone, and it's not always what you think it's going to be.

My good friend here, Kathryn, is in the counseling program, and I'm having a tiny inkling in the pit of my stomach that I might want to try that in the future. I think I'll stick with gifted ed for the time being, because I do miss being in the classroom, but I guess I hadn't realized how much I miss having real content in my own education -- she's learning Psychology, and I'm learning vague and abstract theory. I miss my Psych.

On the other hand, I feel extremely fortunate that in one year, I will have a piece of paper in my hand that, more or less, says I can teach gifted kids. I also feel fortunate that I am determined and adventurous, and I know that if, someday, counseling becomes the thing for me, there's always another master's degree out there to be had. I could be a perpetual student and be completely happy.

Although, talk about not being fiscally feasible... :)

3 comments:

Ann said...

So, get your gifted ed degree and then go into psych and then maybe underwater basket weaving or basic tap dance. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.....do something that makes sense to you, but also serves the greater good.
Love you,
Mammy

Ann said...

Becky,
Gotta say, the site "Post Secret" is somewhat disturbing to me. I know, I am of a different generation, but I think I am fairly open-minded, however, that site bothers me.
I worry about you when I read all of the comments on that blog. Mothering never ends, trust me.
Forgive your anxious mom!!
Love you!

Sarah Reinhard said...

"Fiscally feasible" rarely equals "follow your bliss," at least in the beginning stages. My aunt and I have this way of talking about things, in which we talk about the Universe aligning. It happens in silly coincidences and with small pops and whirs (the bangs are usually left to sports-loving types, I think). But at some point, you stand back and say, "HOLY CRIMINELLY, it's all falling into place and if I don't get off my hiney, it's all going to pass me by!" (Well, if you're me, you might use stronger language. But not when you're typing it for the world to read...ha ha) Sometimes, unfortunately, you see the alignments in retrospect, when it's too late to act. (And you have to reconcile yourself with that.)

I am using the phrase alignments here because, well, it's not religious. But you could equally as well call them the hand of God at work in your life or maybe more like the fingers.

Anyway, I think you should explore the tug. But I am the sort of person who walks around with her head in the clouds. I am the sort of person who not only encouraged, but continues to cheer, a 37-year-old husband to pursue an undergraduate degree...more because it's the fulfillment of a dream than for the practical you-can-make-more-money reason. So take my advice with a salt block if you will.

All the same, I think the tug is there because something in you is wondering...and you're still young and at the beginning (though I know that is trite and cliche and not at all practical from where YOU sit).