How Did You Choose That Topic?

Today, as many have before, my roommate was asking me about my thesis. When I told her that I was doing a study on the school experiences of gifted/GLBTQ (that's gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and queer/questioning) students, she asked me that question I kind of dread: "How did you choose that topic?"

Now, I don't generally have a problem with people mistaking me for being homosexual -- not that I think it happens often, but because of this project, and the paper I wrote for my children's literature class last semester about homosexuality in young adult lit, I assume it happens sometimes. My roommate told me today that she wondered when she saw all the research books I had scattered around the apartment when she moved in. What does bother me a little, however, is that I don't have a really good reason to give people when they asked why I chose the topic.

I find the question of gender really interesting. I think that's one reason that homosexuality is such an intriguing topic to me -- traditionally it's very wrapped up in the questions of gender and gender identity. What makes us female and male? What dictates who we are attracted to? Is it nature or nurture (or some combination)? It's so interesting, because thinking about gender in new ways, and considering issues such as transsexualism (where a person believes they are born into the body of the wrong gender) really forces us to question what we assume about who we are and the categories we put people into. It forces us to question human nature, inasmuch as we think of gender as intrinsically linked to identity, which I think most people do.

In my research, one of the complaints that arises among GLBTQ students is that teachers and schools promulgate heteronormativity, or the idea that heterosexuality is the norm. This is shown in everything from referencing students' "Moms and Dads,"to creating story problems that fall along gender lines (Mary bakes cookies and John plays football), to failing to mention the fact that many famous people throughout history were homosexual. One of the reasons I'm tied to this population of students, the ones who are gifted and GLTBQ, is that I cannot imagine sitting in school, especially during middle school, and knowing you are gay and never ever seeing or hearing about anyone like you in the curriculum. Ever. Throw together being a sexual minority with being a nerd, and you've got a double dose of "differentness."

I think that as far as minorities go, sexual minorities currently have the short end of the stick, because not too many people are focused on sticking up for them. I feel like society has thrown the issues of gender and race to the forefront of conversations about equality, but there's still this huge culture of silence surrounding homosexuality and other sexual minority issues. No one wants to talk about it.

But I do. I think I'm interested in it because no one talks about it. It's taboo.

I met my first homosexual friends in high school. Up until that point, I was of the opinion that we "love the sinner, hate the sin." After I met a couple of dear friends who were homosexual, and after they told me their stories, I completely changed my mind. I believe, with certainty, that there is nothing abnormal or sinful or wrong with homosexuality. There are some lifestyle choices traditionally associated with homosexuality that I'm not a huge fan of (such as promiscuity), but that aside, I cannot believe that anyone's choice of sexual partner is a morally wrong. It's my personal belief, and I know that others hold different ones, and that's ok. But my own change in opinion is what got me interested in the topic, I think.

And of course, the other part of me, the part that has to, you know, write the thesis, says, "Who cares why you think it's interesting? Be thankful you like it enough to finish a major project on it." I am.