A couple weeks ago, I went to see the movie Julie and Julia. I was less than enchanted with the storyline about the woman cooking through the cookbook (although it did inspire me to create a blog with some theme and, you know, get a book deal and make millions...but that is less-than-likely to happen), but I was very taken by the marriage between Julia Child and her husband, Paul. Aside from being an adorable couple (which I attribute in part to their real-life partnership and in part to the magic of Hollywood and amazing actors), they were just so functional together, which was quite nice to see. No doom and gloom and discord for them. Thank you for the change of pace, Hollywood.
Now, I've always been very pragmatic about marriage, even before I was a married woman myself. I have never been under the illusion that marriage is a cakewalk or that there won't be tough times. I subscribe to the philosophy that marriage involves a choice every day; that you wake up every morning and recommit to your spouse, regardless of the feelings or happiness or frustrations that are a part of the current nuptial milieu. I admit to stealing this philosophy from the movie "Keeping the Faith," but it seems sound advice. I think that recognizing this as a philosophy BEFORE I got married allowed me the chance to really commit to the decision I was making the day I got married. It wasn't a whim, it wasn't all romance and hearts a-flutter, it was me committing to choose marriage each day of my life. I know it sounds ridiculously pragmatic and void of emotion, but this frame of mind is, for me, a solid underpinning for a strong marriage.
The beauty of my marriage thus far is that, along with this boring and practical undercurrent, married life has been fun! I genuinely enjoy being around Andy. We have fun, we laugh, we joke, we understand each others humor. We like to do the same things (well, some of the same things), and those things that we don't share as hobbies, we're tolerant of when the other partakes. In the movie, Julia and Paul seemed to similarly enjoy each other, even after several years of marriage, which was just so darn pleasant to see. I hope that as I grow older, and come into my own (in that hopeful, morphing and growing as one ages kind of way), Andy and I continue to enjoy one another, and have fun together. If we don't always, I'll continue to choose marriage, but I think that we'll be far happier if we're able to maintain the humorous and enjoyable connection we have now in our relative youth.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Creativity
Once in awhile, I am filled with an urge to be creative. To literally create things. I'm feeling it now, burbling up from the inside, and screaming to come out.
The problem is channeling the creativity. When I was at home, I found Dad's old camera from middle school. Which is actually now MY camera because he gave it to me. When I was in high school, I went through a photography phases, and became slightly obsessed. And, if I do say myself, I was good, in an untrained kind of way.
But picking up the camera this time gave me a feeling of seeing things differently. I was amazed at the difference between digital and SLR photography. Not just the mechanics, which are, of course, different; rather, the mindset you must adopt in order to compose a shot with an old 35mm camera.
You cannot point and shoot. An SLR is designed in such a way that you must be patient to complete the act of taking a picture. First, you must compose a shot, looking with your naked eyes at the world around you, and figure out which small slice of what you see will make a photograph worth printing. Only then can you put the camera to your eye, and adjust the focus and the light. Sometimes, the picture you wish to take simply cannot be taken with the combination of light, film, location, and subject you have in front of you. You would end up with an overexposed negative, or perhaps a blur on the page. But if the light is workable (and oh, SLR, how much light you do require!), then you move onto the focus.
Dad's old Pentax came with a single lens. I have a zoom lens that I bought later, and it serves its purpose, but the non-zoom, simple lens forces you to work within limits, and use the constraints in a creative way. Often, in a single shot, you cannot focus on the entire scene in front of you, but must choose a foreground or background object on which to train your shot. These pictures have amazing depth.
I flitted around this past weekend shooting pictures of home, including many shots of my husband, and the surroundings I grew up in. In an act of sheer irony, I, forgetful about the processes involved with my beloved machine, popped open the door of the camera before rewinding the film, likely exposing the roll and ruining the pictures. I chalk it up as a learning experience, and hope to salvage a few from the beginning of the roll.
Off to Costco tomorrow, which I have been told does a quite nice job of developing. And then onto the magic of waiting for the prints.
The problem is channeling the creativity. When I was at home, I found Dad's old camera from middle school. Which is actually now MY camera because he gave it to me. When I was in high school, I went through a photography phases, and became slightly obsessed. And, if I do say myself, I was good, in an untrained kind of way.
But picking up the camera this time gave me a feeling of seeing things differently. I was amazed at the difference between digital and SLR photography. Not just the mechanics, which are, of course, different; rather, the mindset you must adopt in order to compose a shot with an old 35mm camera.
You cannot point and shoot. An SLR is designed in such a way that you must be patient to complete the act of taking a picture. First, you must compose a shot, looking with your naked eyes at the world around you, and figure out which small slice of what you see will make a photograph worth printing. Only then can you put the camera to your eye, and adjust the focus and the light. Sometimes, the picture you wish to take simply cannot be taken with the combination of light, film, location, and subject you have in front of you. You would end up with an overexposed negative, or perhaps a blur on the page. But if the light is workable (and oh, SLR, how much light you do require!), then you move onto the focus.
Dad's old Pentax came with a single lens. I have a zoom lens that I bought later, and it serves its purpose, but the non-zoom, simple lens forces you to work within limits, and use the constraints in a creative way. Often, in a single shot, you cannot focus on the entire scene in front of you, but must choose a foreground or background object on which to train your shot. These pictures have amazing depth.
I flitted around this past weekend shooting pictures of home, including many shots of my husband, and the surroundings I grew up in. In an act of sheer irony, I, forgetful about the processes involved with my beloved machine, popped open the door of the camera before rewinding the film, likely exposing the roll and ruining the pictures. I chalk it up as a learning experience, and hope to salvage a few from the beginning of the roll.
Off to Costco tomorrow, which I have been told does a quite nice job of developing. And then onto the magic of waiting for the prints.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wedding pictures
I had a relapse in my wedding photos obsession this week. So I made a slideshow. I think I am now cured.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I like being Catholic...usually.
So, I consider myself a relatively liberal Catholic, but a Catholic nonetheless. My mom's is Catholic, my dad agreed to raise us as such, and my upbringing in my lovely little church at home in Ohio was a good one -- it's full of good people and good memories.
Yesterday, however, Andy and I were at Mass, and all was going well...until the homily took a political turn. Which is a red flag/flashing danger sign for sure. In the near future in Vermont (our current home state), this is a vote on whether gay/lesbian couples will be allowed to enter into marriages. Now, it is no secret to me that the Church is against marriage being anything other than one man, one woman, and it is something that I have accepted that I will just have to disagree on, but the tone of the sermon (by our priest who I really do like) was pretty negative. He used phrases such as "under a mistaken notion of equality" (which I'm sure he would also use if I argued that women should be priests), and at the very end, got very negative when he warned that if this were passed, "they" would demand that a priest marry them as their "right," and then priests would be considered civil disobedients and put in jail.
Now, I won't disagree that that might happen -- I know enough about Civil Rights movements to know that testing those limits is part and parcel of the struggle. But the characterizations that gay and lesbian people are out to jail the clergy is, I think, wrong. And I have to imagine that even if this passed, it would be pertaining to marriage in a civil sense. I don't think that they could force religious to change their views and perform sacraments that the religion doesn't believe are valid. Perhaps I'm naive, but I do have a certain amount of faith in the separation of church and state.
As my Dad always says, "If you're going to be Catholic, be Catholic." I have to disagree with him. I'm willing to take some bad with the good. But for the longest time, I had no framework for my gut feeling that homosexuality is NOT a sin, despite the fact that I consider myself to be a Catholic. I got one last year at Pre-Cana, however. At one point, our leader was talking about a formation of conscience, and how we have to pray about things we are unsure about, and allow our conscience to form. I think that my opinions about homosexuality have really developed under such a model. I know that the Church finds it wrong. I really feel in my heart, however, that is isn't. I'm suspicious of all the talk of a "natural order," when homosexual beings have been around since the beginning of time, and I'm not convinced that the ability to procreate has to be a criteria for "natural." I just can't wrap my head around that.
I'm hopeful, despite the horror that the diocese is feeling, that this particular issue changes to allow homosexual marriage, although I would also hope that church opinions would be respected, and that no clergy would be forced to perform any actions against his beliefs. I guess we'll see how it turns out.
Yesterday, however, Andy and I were at Mass, and all was going well...until the homily took a political turn. Which is a red flag/flashing danger sign for sure. In the near future in Vermont (our current home state), this is a vote on whether gay/lesbian couples will be allowed to enter into marriages. Now, it is no secret to me that the Church is against marriage being anything other than one man, one woman, and it is something that I have accepted that I will just have to disagree on, but the tone of the sermon (by our priest who I really do like) was pretty negative. He used phrases such as "under a mistaken notion of equality" (which I'm sure he would also use if I argued that women should be priests), and at the very end, got very negative when he warned that if this were passed, "they" would demand that a priest marry them as their "right," and then priests would be considered civil disobedients and put in jail.
Now, I won't disagree that that might happen -- I know enough about Civil Rights movements to know that testing those limits is part and parcel of the struggle. But the characterizations that gay and lesbian people are out to jail the clergy is, I think, wrong. And I have to imagine that even if this passed, it would be pertaining to marriage in a civil sense. I don't think that they could force religious to change their views and perform sacraments that the religion doesn't believe are valid. Perhaps I'm naive, but I do have a certain amount of faith in the separation of church and state.
As my Dad always says, "If you're going to be Catholic, be Catholic." I have to disagree with him. I'm willing to take some bad with the good. But for the longest time, I had no framework for my gut feeling that homosexuality is NOT a sin, despite the fact that I consider myself to be a Catholic. I got one last year at Pre-Cana, however. At one point, our leader was talking about a formation of conscience, and how we have to pray about things we are unsure about, and allow our conscience to form. I think that my opinions about homosexuality have really developed under such a model. I know that the Church finds it wrong. I really feel in my heart, however, that is isn't. I'm suspicious of all the talk of a "natural order," when homosexual beings have been around since the beginning of time, and I'm not convinced that the ability to procreate has to be a criteria for "natural." I just can't wrap my head around that.
I'm hopeful, despite the horror that the diocese is feeling, that this particular issue changes to allow homosexual marriage, although I would also hope that church opinions would be respected, and that no clergy would be forced to perform any actions against his beliefs. I guess we'll see how it turns out.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Academia
A few weeks ago, I got a hankering for academia, and e-mailed my adviser from my master's program asking if she would second-author my thesis if I worked on turning it into a journal article for publication. She of course agreed, and told me to send her a draft when I had one.
I've been dragging my feet for weeks on said pare-down, and with good reason. It's a major undertaking, at least in theory -- the thesis was 100 pages plus, and a journal article needs to be around 20 to be submitted. I was dreading the task, but when the star aligned and I got a full weekend off from my part-time job, I figured it was a sign that I should probably take the plunge.
After hemming and hawing all day yesterday, I got up early this morning, and holed up in a nice little coffee shop with an espresso-laden drink that gave me the shakes, and a great soundtrack of 1940s music that they had playing. And about half an hour in, I found myself really enjoying my work, and missing academia. What I was doing was, for the most part, academia-light, but I loved being immersed in my research again, and putting together something that might (fingers-crossed) be put out there for other teachers/researchers/academics.
I got accepted into UVM for their MAT program for next year. This is a part of the hoop-jumping I have to go through to be a real live certified teacher. Part of me is excited, and part of me is groaning internally. This kind of writing and research won't be involved, and I know going in what to (generally) expect. But it WILL be learning, nonetheless, with people who want to learn and discuss and improve their teaching, and that, at least, will be mentally stimulating to a degree. But today's work has started a twinkle within me to think about doing the Ph. D. thing in the future...maybe even in education, which I swore up and down that I would never do. I guess the distance I have from last year has given me a little perspective...but I would still have a lot of mental convincing to go.
I've been dragging my feet for weeks on said pare-down, and with good reason. It's a major undertaking, at least in theory -- the thesis was 100 pages plus, and a journal article needs to be around 20 to be submitted. I was dreading the task, but when the star aligned and I got a full weekend off from my part-time job, I figured it was a sign that I should probably take the plunge.
After hemming and hawing all day yesterday, I got up early this morning, and holed up in a nice little coffee shop with an espresso-laden drink that gave me the shakes, and a great soundtrack of 1940s music that they had playing. And about half an hour in, I found myself really enjoying my work, and missing academia. What I was doing was, for the most part, academia-light, but I loved being immersed in my research again, and putting together something that might (fingers-crossed) be put out there for other teachers/researchers/academics.
I got accepted into UVM for their MAT program for next year. This is a part of the hoop-jumping I have to go through to be a real live certified teacher. Part of me is excited, and part of me is groaning internally. This kind of writing and research won't be involved, and I know going in what to (generally) expect. But it WILL be learning, nonetheless, with people who want to learn and discuss and improve their teaching, and that, at least, will be mentally stimulating to a degree. But today's work has started a twinkle within me to think about doing the Ph. D. thing in the future...maybe even in education, which I swore up and down that I would never do. I guess the distance I have from last year has given me a little perspective...but I would still have a lot of mental convincing to go.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Rubik's Cube
I have a new addiction. It is the Rubik's Cube.
My officemate, Rachel, spent some time a couple years ago recovering form a surgery, and in that time, she learned how to solve the Rubik's Cube. After a quick lesson and some tips on how to solve the first face, I was hooked.
I bought my own cube last week, and have dedicated at least an hour or two a night to it. I spent my whole planning period Monday maneuvering tiny plastic blocks. Before this obsession, I liked to fancy that I had some semblence of spatial intelligence. I have quickly learned that I don't. At least not this kind.
Today, however, after several days of stuck-ness, I solved two layers of the cube. If you orient the cube so that the top is one color, then the top and middle layer are also solved. Life is sweet.
Only 25 more hours to go, I'm betting. On the bright side, I have a plane ride ahead of me on Friday.
My officemate, Rachel, spent some time a couple years ago recovering form a surgery, and in that time, she learned how to solve the Rubik's Cube. After a quick lesson and some tips on how to solve the first face, I was hooked.
I bought my own cube last week, and have dedicated at least an hour or two a night to it. I spent my whole planning period Monday maneuvering tiny plastic blocks. Before this obsession, I liked to fancy that I had some semblence of spatial intelligence. I have quickly learned that I don't. At least not this kind.
Today, however, after several days of stuck-ness, I solved two layers of the cube. If you orient the cube so that the top is one color, then the top and middle layer are also solved. Life is sweet.
Only 25 more hours to go, I'm betting. On the bright side, I have a plane ride ahead of me on Friday.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Balance
I just started a part-time weekend job, since I was feeling the crunch of not saving much this year. It's really pithy money, but makes me feel good to have an extra $50 every couple weeks to stash away. And the discount doesn't hurt, either.
I worked two days this weekend, and I don't remember loving retail this much! When I was at Penney's in high school, it was torture -- probably because I was overworked. But this job at Eddie Bauer is great. It feels so relaxing, and relatively carefree, and no ones lives or futures hang in the balance of my every decision. (Not that I dislike my other job where that IS the case, but the break is nice.)
I was feeling a little melancholy post-wedding, because all of my time which had been sucked into wedding planning was free and I didn't know what to do with it. This job is part of the solution; so was joining the gym, and deciding to do some work on my thesis to get it published in a journal. I think that staying busy is the key for me. I do better at getting things done when I have more to manage. In college, I was never so productive with getting my work done as when I spent 20 hours a week marching with the back and had to work around that.
I think that's an important thing to know about yourself, the right balance to staying sane. I get tempted to "take it easy" sometimes (and that's important!), but I really am happiest when I have a lot to do.
I worked two days this weekend, and I don't remember loving retail this much! When I was at Penney's in high school, it was torture -- probably because I was overworked. But this job at Eddie Bauer is great. It feels so relaxing, and relatively carefree, and no ones lives or futures hang in the balance of my every decision. (Not that I dislike my other job where that IS the case, but the break is nice.)
I was feeling a little melancholy post-wedding, because all of my time which had been sucked into wedding planning was free and I didn't know what to do with it. This job is part of the solution; so was joining the gym, and deciding to do some work on my thesis to get it published in a journal. I think that staying busy is the key for me. I do better at getting things done when I have more to manage. In college, I was never so productive with getting my work done as when I spent 20 hours a week marching with the back and had to work around that.
I think that's an important thing to know about yourself, the right balance to staying sane. I get tempted to "take it easy" sometimes (and that's important!), but I really am happiest when I have a lot to do.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
My Thing
Today after work, we had a meeting about professional development, and it was a real thinker for me. A couple things happened. First, we had to brainstorm our strengths and weaknesses, and share them with a group. I ended up in a weird group of people that I'm not sure really like me.
Sidebar: I've having an identity crisis at work. Everyone there is very Vermonty and sporty and outdoorsy, and while I admire that at all, it just so not me. I'm trying to figure out where I fit in socially, and I'm having a hard time. I have one good friend at work, which is nice, but then when she branches out and appears to be making friends with other people, I have panic attacks of "Wait, why don't those people like me? Why are they fascinated with her? What's wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone stop by MY room to chat?" (For the record, I know this is crazy and over-analytical and unhealthy thinking.) So, my theory this week has been to de-stress. I hang in my room, I don't lurk, I get my stuff done, and if socialization happens, it does and at least I'm being authentic and not trying to nose my way into friendships.
Back to today. So I end up in a group of the most outdoorsy and optimistic Vermonters of them all. They are both lovely people, but they're good friends, and I feel, as I've been saying for weeks, that they're just not my people. We have to share our strengths and weaknesses, and comment on each other and how we see them working with students (in a positive affirming way -- this is not as scary as it sounds), so I share with them that I think my strengths lie in the academic: I get how to plan a unit, follow it through, and assess my kids. On the other hand, I suck as working in community and connecting content to real life, which these two are rock-stars at doing.
Their feedback is all positive: "Great job being self-reflective...I think you're very creative with the kids, and you're theatrical! You should add that to the list." But when it gets to be their turn, the discussion centers around their thing.
At our workplace, it is natural for people to fall into a niche, a place where they belong in which they can thrive and share with the community. One guy is the film guy. One guy is the gardening/composting guy. A couple guys are the music guys, and a couple are lit guys. One girl is the artsy girl, another guy is a culinary guy. I desperately want a thing, and these two had them -- outdoorsy rec team-building and literature/speech. And I was left with a vague sense of "Where do I fit in?"
Immediately after that discussion, one of the program directors mentioned that she was starting a group after school that was going to be run like a college class, with journal reading, reflections, and writing assignments. Well, sign me up! I jumped all over that. She also mentioned an aside about how she was thinking about putting together a research piece for a periodical, and I jumped on that as well, approaching her afterward to offer to do research or write protocols or analyze data, etc. This is what I'm good at...unfortunately, it in no way affects our kids, because I can't teach them to be in college classes or write hard-core academic articles. And even if I could...how boring would that be?
So the good for today was the opportunity to participate in some academic stuff in the near future. The negative was realizing that I don't have a niche at work, and, even more depressing, I have no concept of what that niche might be. Part of the issue is that through a lack of communication, they hired me as a math/science teacher (ugh), and as a compromise are letting me teach English and Social Studies, meaning I am, once again, the jack of all trades without an opportunity to specialize in anything.
I guess I should brainstorm a list of "Things I Like to Do and Could Share with Kids." Maybe that will be an upcoming blog entry...
Sidebar: I've having an identity crisis at work. Everyone there is very Vermonty and sporty and outdoorsy, and while I admire that at all, it just so not me. I'm trying to figure out where I fit in socially, and I'm having a hard time. I have one good friend at work, which is nice, but then when she branches out and appears to be making friends with other people, I have panic attacks of "Wait, why don't those people like me? Why are they fascinated with her? What's wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone stop by MY room to chat?" (For the record, I know this is crazy and over-analytical and unhealthy thinking.) So, my theory this week has been to de-stress. I hang in my room, I don't lurk, I get my stuff done, and if socialization happens, it does and at least I'm being authentic and not trying to nose my way into friendships.
Back to today. So I end up in a group of the most outdoorsy and optimistic Vermonters of them all. They are both lovely people, but they're good friends, and I feel, as I've been saying for weeks, that they're just not my people. We have to share our strengths and weaknesses, and comment on each other and how we see them working with students (in a positive affirming way -- this is not as scary as it sounds), so I share with them that I think my strengths lie in the academic: I get how to plan a unit, follow it through, and assess my kids. On the other hand, I suck as working in community and connecting content to real life, which these two are rock-stars at doing.
Their feedback is all positive: "Great job being self-reflective...I think you're very creative with the kids, and you're theatrical! You should add that to the list." But when it gets to be their turn, the discussion centers around their thing.
At our workplace, it is natural for people to fall into a niche, a place where they belong in which they can thrive and share with the community. One guy is the film guy. One guy is the gardening/composting guy. A couple guys are the music guys, and a couple are lit guys. One girl is the artsy girl, another guy is a culinary guy. I desperately want a thing, and these two had them -- outdoorsy rec team-building and literature/speech. And I was left with a vague sense of "Where do I fit in?"
Immediately after that discussion, one of the program directors mentioned that she was starting a group after school that was going to be run like a college class, with journal reading, reflections, and writing assignments. Well, sign me up! I jumped all over that. She also mentioned an aside about how she was thinking about putting together a research piece for a periodical, and I jumped on that as well, approaching her afterward to offer to do research or write protocols or analyze data, etc. This is what I'm good at...unfortunately, it in no way affects our kids, because I can't teach them to be in college classes or write hard-core academic articles. And even if I could...how boring would that be?
So the good for today was the opportunity to participate in some academic stuff in the near future. The negative was realizing that I don't have a niche at work, and, even more depressing, I have no concept of what that niche might be. Part of the issue is that through a lack of communication, they hired me as a math/science teacher (ugh), and as a compromise are letting me teach English and Social Studies, meaning I am, once again, the jack of all trades without an opportunity to specialize in anything.
I guess I should brainstorm a list of "Things I Like to Do and Could Share with Kids." Maybe that will be an upcoming blog entry...
SAD
There is a part of me that is really enjoying the snow this year. It's been a long time since I've dealt with the fluffy white stuff, and I did miss it.
But now, I'm done. I still like the snow alright, but I despise the fact that I cannot do anything outside (without bundling up and purchasing expensive winter-sports equipment). I am going stir crazy, and I desperately need a snow day (for sleep and rejuvenation) or spring. Nothing else will do.
I think it's just also that time of year when things are just blah. I feel blah. I'm excited to visit home in a couple weeks. Home may also be blah, but is it blah with comfort.
But now, I'm done. I still like the snow alright, but I despise the fact that I cannot do anything outside (without bundling up and purchasing expensive winter-sports equipment). I am going stir crazy, and I desperately need a snow day (for sleep and rejuvenation) or spring. Nothing else will do.
I think it's just also that time of year when things are just blah. I feel blah. I'm excited to visit home in a couple weeks. Home may also be blah, but is it blah with comfort.
Monday, February 2, 2009
It Takes a Village
There was a message board I frequented during wedding called Indiebride. One of the threads on this message board is filled mostly with "wedding recaps," in which recently-married brides post pictures and gush about how awesome their wedding was. I love this thread.
Recently, there was a woman who titled her post, "It takes a village...to have a wedding." She was talking about how she and her husband asked their friends and family to pitch in with talents to help pull off the wedding in lieu of gifts. It was such a nice idea, and I've been meditating on this recently.
Our wedding was not quite as "takes a village" as this other brides, but I did have a lot of help, and it really means a lot to me. But even beyond this, I have been thinking lately about wedding gifts. I know this sounds materialistic, and it is, and they are, but I've also been having a really lovely time over the past month thinking of the people who gave us our gifts as we've been using them. When I used my new cutting boards, I think of Mandy and Kathryn. When I sleep between our new sheets, I think of Frank and Aunt Mary. When I use my Kitchenaid mixer, I think of my aunts and uncles on Mom's side. And when I drink out of our new glasses, I think of Abby. When I used our new serving platter for our Superbowl party the other day, I thought of Brenda. Etc, etc.
I'm so grateful to have the amazing groups of friends and family that I do, and I'm reminded of them and their generosity and well-wishes every day. It's so nice!
Recently, there was a woman who titled her post, "It takes a village...to have a wedding." She was talking about how she and her husband asked their friends and family to pitch in with talents to help pull off the wedding in lieu of gifts. It was such a nice idea, and I've been meditating on this recently.
Our wedding was not quite as "takes a village" as this other brides, but I did have a lot of help, and it really means a lot to me. But even beyond this, I have been thinking lately about wedding gifts. I know this sounds materialistic, and it is, and they are, but I've also been having a really lovely time over the past month thinking of the people who gave us our gifts as we've been using them. When I used my new cutting boards, I think of Mandy and Kathryn. When I sleep between our new sheets, I think of Frank and Aunt Mary. When I use my Kitchenaid mixer, I think of my aunts and uncles on Mom's side. And when I drink out of our new glasses, I think of Abby. When I used our new serving platter for our Superbowl party the other day, I thought of Brenda. Etc, etc.
I'm so grateful to have the amazing groups of friends and family that I do, and I'm reminded of them and their generosity and well-wishes every day. It's so nice!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
25 Things About Me
This meme has been flying around on facebook, and I figured I may as well post it here as well. It was a good opportunity for some self-reflection:
1) I love food. I also love cooking and baking, thankfully.
2) I am extremely thankful that my parents raised us Catholic. I have a couple major beefs with the Catholic church (including their stand on homosexuality and women in the priesthood), but my faith has been a big part of my life.
3) I crochet, and have gotten to the point where I can create things like sweaters and stuffed animals. Huge move from the old scarf rut.
4) I'm terrible at bowling...and I love it.
5) My life was empty before I began sleeping under an electric blanket.
6) I'm in the midst of a Vermont winter, and while it is causing a slight touch of SAD, I really am enjoying the snow after several years in the south.
7) Speaking of the south, I will never live there again.
8) I love my job teaching at an alternative high school. I think I have found my calling.
9) I think that doing good in the world is really important, but I hate when people get mushy about doing service. I don't want to reflect, I want to take action.
10) I must wear a watch at all times. I get extremely anxious if the time is not readily available.
11) I give blood regularly. I am type A+.
12) I want a Ph. D., but don't have any topic I like well enough to dedicate that much of my time and energy to.
13) When I was younger, I wanted to be a genetic counselor when I grew up. One semester of college chem changed my mind, but I still think it would be a cool job, and I'm not convinced you need the high-level science knowledge to perform it.
14) I miss my old SLR camera.
15) I always considered (and still do) myself to be very independent, which is why I felt cool traipsing around to places like Ireland, Australia, Lousiana, Virginia, and Vermont. Now that I'm an adult, thought, I totally get why people want to live close to family. I miss my zany parents and my brothers.
16) I don't do musical snobbery. I like to listen to music, and I certainly have my faves, but I hate sitting in on conversations where people just spit out hundreds of names of bands and artists and everyone else nods and "yeah!"s with great emphasis. I could also really care less about live music in general. I mean, if someone good is playing, cool, but "It has live music!" is not an advantage of a bar/restaurant for me.
17) I love trivia. Andy and I are well on our way to memorizing the deck of the 1981 Genus edition of Trivial Pursuit. We also watch Jeopardy nightly.
18) I am extremely grateful that my husband is intelligent in ways that are different from me.
19) For the first time in my life, I really GET the idea of multiple intelligences and see it playing around me daily. I mean, I understood it before, but didn't really see the true worth in the intelligences that weren't the typical school ones (i.e. linguistic and logical/mathematical). In my current job, however, there are teachers and students who blow me away with the combinations of intelligences they possess, and I think they're all amazing in the ways they work together to get things done.
20) I tap-danced for 11 years.
21) When I watch a stage performance, especially a musical, I feel a swelling in my chest and feel as if I will burst. I'm pretty sure that given the right circumstances, I could have been an amazing stage actress in musical theater.
22) I agonized for months over whether to change my name when I got married. I think I made a good choice.
23) I don't believe in soulmates or The One.
24) I address my parents by their first name.
25) I desperately wish I had a sewing machine and knew how to use one. My craftiness productivity would skyrocket.
1) I love food. I also love cooking and baking, thankfully.
2) I am extremely thankful that my parents raised us Catholic. I have a couple major beefs with the Catholic church (including their stand on homosexuality and women in the priesthood), but my faith has been a big part of my life.
3) I crochet, and have gotten to the point where I can create things like sweaters and stuffed animals. Huge move from the old scarf rut.
4) I'm terrible at bowling...and I love it.
5) My life was empty before I began sleeping under an electric blanket.
6) I'm in the midst of a Vermont winter, and while it is causing a slight touch of SAD, I really am enjoying the snow after several years in the south.
7) Speaking of the south, I will never live there again.
8) I love my job teaching at an alternative high school. I think I have found my calling.
9) I think that doing good in the world is really important, but I hate when people get mushy about doing service. I don't want to reflect, I want to take action.
10) I must wear a watch at all times. I get extremely anxious if the time is not readily available.
11) I give blood regularly. I am type A+.
12) I want a Ph. D., but don't have any topic I like well enough to dedicate that much of my time and energy to.
13) When I was younger, I wanted to be a genetic counselor when I grew up. One semester of college chem changed my mind, but I still think it would be a cool job, and I'm not convinced you need the high-level science knowledge to perform it.
14) I miss my old SLR camera.
15) I always considered (and still do) myself to be very independent, which is why I felt cool traipsing around to places like Ireland, Australia, Lousiana, Virginia, and Vermont. Now that I'm an adult, thought, I totally get why people want to live close to family. I miss my zany parents and my brothers.
16) I don't do musical snobbery. I like to listen to music, and I certainly have my faves, but I hate sitting in on conversations where people just spit out hundreds of names of bands and artists and everyone else nods and "yeah!"s with great emphasis. I could also really care less about live music in general. I mean, if someone good is playing, cool, but "It has live music!" is not an advantage of a bar/restaurant for me.
17) I love trivia. Andy and I are well on our way to memorizing the deck of the 1981 Genus edition of Trivial Pursuit. We also watch Jeopardy nightly.
18) I am extremely grateful that my husband is intelligent in ways that are different from me.
19) For the first time in my life, I really GET the idea of multiple intelligences and see it playing around me daily. I mean, I understood it before, but didn't really see the true worth in the intelligences that weren't the typical school ones (i.e. linguistic and logical/mathematical). In my current job, however, there are teachers and students who blow me away with the combinations of intelligences they possess, and I think they're all amazing in the ways they work together to get things done.
20) I tap-danced for 11 years.
21) When I watch a stage performance, especially a musical, I feel a swelling in my chest and feel as if I will burst. I'm pretty sure that given the right circumstances, I could have been an amazing stage actress in musical theater.
22) I agonized for months over whether to change my name when I got married. I think I made a good choice.
23) I don't believe in soulmates or The One.
24) I address my parents by their first name.
25) I desperately wish I had a sewing machine and knew how to use one. My craftiness productivity would skyrocket.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I shall call you by a new name
I have a new name.
Those of you who keep up with the blog (all three of you) know that for some time before the wedding, the question of the name change was The Big Looming Question. Should I keep my name out of principle (i.e. Why should I have to change it when he doesn't?) or hyphenate as a nod toward having a family name and, ultimately, sharing a name with my children? Taking his name and dropping my own was never an option.
About three weeks before the weekend, after literally a year or more of waffling, I decided to hyphenate.
After a wedding in VT, you have to wait a bit to get your marriage certificate from the country clerk before you can get the name-change ball rolling. Ours came while we were away for the honeymoon, and since then, I've been chipping away at all the people who need to know my new name. Social security first, then bank, driver's license, etc. It's a process that, although time-consuming, I have not found to be troublesome in any way. It's one of those situations where people do this all the time, and it turns out that the world is pretty good at handling the steps.
The strange part is getting used to the new name. I don't feel absolutely wild about it, although I still feel good about the decision. But it's strange to call a place of business, like the gym where I want to get a membership, or my insurance company, and begin with, "Hi, my name is Rebecca Wxxxxx-Pxxxxx..." instead of just "Rebecca Wxxxxx." In fact, the other day I forgot my new name, used my old one, and when the woman went to look me up in the computer, I had to sheepishly correct her. It felt like I was committing fraud and didn't completely memorize the information from the person whose identity I was stealing.
And then there's the issue of just stating the name for people. When I had to get a new library card, and I was asked, "And what's your name?" I replied, "Rebecca Wxxxxx hyphen Pxxxxx. P-x-x-x-x-x." I need to stop saying "hyphen" as if it is part of my name and letting people ask the questions they need, but I'm not to the point where the name feels natural enough to NOT explain it. It's as if I'm anticipating their confusion because I still feel a bit of my own.
There's a part of me that's still a little sad that I have to be the only one to go through the process. Shouldn't this process of merging into a new family be equally shared by both partners? My heart says yes, but my head, which has done a lot of genealogical research in my day, recognizes the simplicity of the patrilineal system, and can appreciate that.
I think this benefit of this whole process is to remind me that marriage is a compromise. That we're an us now, and need to think that way much of the time. It's not an easy process, especially for someone who has clung with a death grip to her independence, but the lesson is an important one.
Those of you who keep up with the blog (all three of you) know that for some time before the wedding, the question of the name change was The Big Looming Question. Should I keep my name out of principle (i.e. Why should I have to change it when he doesn't?) or hyphenate as a nod toward having a family name and, ultimately, sharing a name with my children? Taking his name and dropping my own was never an option.
About three weeks before the weekend, after literally a year or more of waffling, I decided to hyphenate.
After a wedding in VT, you have to wait a bit to get your marriage certificate from the country clerk before you can get the name-change ball rolling. Ours came while we were away for the honeymoon, and since then, I've been chipping away at all the people who need to know my new name. Social security first, then bank, driver's license, etc. It's a process that, although time-consuming, I have not found to be troublesome in any way. It's one of those situations where people do this all the time, and it turns out that the world is pretty good at handling the steps.
The strange part is getting used to the new name. I don't feel absolutely wild about it, although I still feel good about the decision. But it's strange to call a place of business, like the gym where I want to get a membership, or my insurance company, and begin with, "Hi, my name is Rebecca Wxxxxx-Pxxxxx..." instead of just "Rebecca Wxxxxx." In fact, the other day I forgot my new name, used my old one, and when the woman went to look me up in the computer, I had to sheepishly correct her. It felt like I was committing fraud and didn't completely memorize the information from the person whose identity I was stealing.
And then there's the issue of just stating the name for people. When I had to get a new library card, and I was asked, "And what's your name?" I replied, "Rebecca Wxxxxx hyphen Pxxxxx. P-x-x-x-x-x." I need to stop saying "hyphen" as if it is part of my name and letting people ask the questions they need, but I'm not to the point where the name feels natural enough to NOT explain it. It's as if I'm anticipating their confusion because I still feel a bit of my own.
There's a part of me that's still a little sad that I have to be the only one to go through the process. Shouldn't this process of merging into a new family be equally shared by both partners? My heart says yes, but my head, which has done a lot of genealogical research in my day, recognizes the simplicity of the patrilineal system, and can appreciate that.
I think this benefit of this whole process is to remind me that marriage is a compromise. That we're an us now, and need to think that way much of the time. It's not an easy process, especially for someone who has clung with a death grip to her independence, but the lesson is an important one.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Give Life
Today, I got a bumper sticker for my car. This is a big deal for me. Growing up, George (my father) was very anti-bumper sticker. We would bring home the "My child is an honor student" stickers, and he would say "Oh, great!" and discreetly put them away in a stack in a drawer. Marring the outside of the car was a no-no.
But now I have a car. I dipped my toes into the pool of bumper stickers when I put the "Covered by the blood of Jesus" magnet on the back of my car. I admit to doing it somewhat in jest, but I keep it on there still today as a reminder of my crazy time in the South. Today, however, I found the bumper sticker that I feel confident I can put on my car without regret: a "Got Blood?" Red Cross blood donation sticker.
I've become a frequent blood donor over the last couple years. It began in Louisiana when they desperately needed blood after Hurricane Katrina. My good friend Rebecca was going, and asked me to come along. I said "Sure," and was hooked.
Giving blood is a nice feeling. I feel grateful that I can do it without passing out. I enjoy seeing how quickly I can fill my pint bag (in a safe way, of course: 5 minutes, 55 seconds today!). I like the rhythm of the Blood Donation Center here in town: people making packets of bags and tubes, people called into and out of the screening room, the friendly volunteer insisting you sit for ten minutes and eat a donut (Well, if I must). I also secretly adore walking out with a neon-colored bandage around my arm. It's a peaceful place, and ours is run efficiently, which I appreciate.
But beyond that, I think I like the idea that it's so simple to do something good. It's an easy act of giving, one that doesn't take a lot of time or money, but one that can have a huge impact. I don't think too often about where my blood goes, but to the people getting a tranfusion, I recognize it's a lifeline. Sometimes literally.
So I think I'll take the plunge, and put that sticker on my car. I may regret it if I ever want to sell the car, but for now, I'm pleased to have found a sticker I feel happy about.
But now I have a car. I dipped my toes into the pool of bumper stickers when I put the "Covered by the blood of Jesus" magnet on the back of my car. I admit to doing it somewhat in jest, but I keep it on there still today as a reminder of my crazy time in the South. Today, however, I found the bumper sticker that I feel confident I can put on my car without regret: a "Got Blood?" Red Cross blood donation sticker.
I've become a frequent blood donor over the last couple years. It began in Louisiana when they desperately needed blood after Hurricane Katrina. My good friend Rebecca was going, and asked me to come along. I said "Sure," and was hooked.
Giving blood is a nice feeling. I feel grateful that I can do it without passing out. I enjoy seeing how quickly I can fill my pint bag (in a safe way, of course: 5 minutes, 55 seconds today!). I like the rhythm of the Blood Donation Center here in town: people making packets of bags and tubes, people called into and out of the screening room, the friendly volunteer insisting you sit for ten minutes and eat a donut (Well, if I must). I also secretly adore walking out with a neon-colored bandage around my arm. It's a peaceful place, and ours is run efficiently, which I appreciate.
But beyond that, I think I like the idea that it's so simple to do something good. It's an easy act of giving, one that doesn't take a lot of time or money, but one that can have a huge impact. I don't think too often about where my blood goes, but to the people getting a tranfusion, I recognize it's a lifeline. Sometimes literally.
So I think I'll take the plunge, and put that sticker on my car. I may regret it if I ever want to sell the car, but for now, I'm pleased to have found a sticker I feel happy about.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Grad school...redux
I am applying to grad school.
Again.
When I posted this status on facebook, my nerdy friends ohh-ed and ahh-ed and asked what programs I was looking at. I was ashamed to admit that it's another master's in education. This time in Middle School Social Studies and English.
But wait, one might say, I thought you already had a master's in education!
I do.
But wait, one might say, I thought you already had a license to teach middle school. Science right?
I do. But not in Vermont. Stupid state.
The world of interstate licensure for teachers is a vague and frustrating world. It is built on the premise that you will go to a four year college for education, and that you will stay in the same state for your entire career. Try to take some sort of alternative path or, (NO!) move to another state, and life becomes difficult.
The following is true:
-I want to be licensed to teach. Regardless of whether I need that license for my current job (I don't, although I get paid more when I have it).
-I could do another alternative licensure process and try to get licensed to teach Social Studies by making a ginormous portfolio and paying some committee more than $1000 to evaluate it. Then I would be licensed to teach SS in Vermont. But if I tried to move again, who knows.
The most long-term option is to suck it up, pay tuition, and go through a real master's of education program in teaching. Then, I will get a license from Vermont, and it will be recommended by a four-year accredited institution, which, as I have sadly found out, appears to be the key to this whole mess. Imagine...
Dorothy (Becky) goes up to the gate of the Emerald City (State Department of Ed). "What do you want?" asks the creepy man.
"I want to see the wizard (get a teaching license)," replies Dorothy (Becky).
"No."
"I graduate cum laude from the honors program at a top-twenty university."
"No."
"I have experience teaching. In a low-performing district. I made SIGNIFICANT GAINS!"
"No."
"I have a master's degree in education."
"Oh?"
*mumbles* "Gifted education."
"We don't have that in this place (Vermont)."
"Well, my colleague the scarecrow here has no brain and studied bulletin-board making in his undergraduate program. He has no content expertise, but he CAN create an attendance chart and time-out corner. It took him twenty tries to pass the Praxis, and even then he just squeaked by. But he has a teaching degree from an accredited college/university."
"Well, that's a horse of a different color! Come right in!"
I think that little sketch explains perfectly the problems I have with the education teaching system today (at least as far as licensure is concerned). I'm not saying that there AREN'T good teachers who go through the traditional path. I'm not saying that all teaching programs are bad. And I'm not saying that everyone who wants to teach should be able to just jump right in. But cut me some slack -- I'm not just a bum off the street who's never been in a classroom, here.
The downside to this new option is going into debt for another degree that I don't feel like I need in order to be a good teacher. The upside is having the degree and license that will make me truly mobile and give me career options. And it sucks for the short-term, but in the long-term, I think it's a good decision for us as a family. There are a lot of ifs that have to happen for this to work, however. 1. Andy has to find a job in Vermont so we can stay here. 2. Andy has to find a job that pays what our two incomes currently make so he can support me for the year (and oh, how I cringe to say that). 3. My job has to agree to take me back, because my life will be a sad sad place if this job doesn't exist for me anymore. 4. My three recommenders have to actually WRITE the letters of recommendation.
But, for the time being, the name of the game is keeping options open. And from many angles, this appears to be a good one.
Again.
When I posted this status on facebook, my nerdy friends ohh-ed and ahh-ed and asked what programs I was looking at. I was ashamed to admit that it's another master's in education. This time in Middle School Social Studies and English.
But wait, one might say, I thought you already had a master's in education!
I do.
But wait, one might say, I thought you already had a license to teach middle school. Science right?
I do. But not in Vermont. Stupid state.
The world of interstate licensure for teachers is a vague and frustrating world. It is built on the premise that you will go to a four year college for education, and that you will stay in the same state for your entire career. Try to take some sort of alternative path or, (NO!) move to another state, and life becomes difficult.
The following is true:
-I want to be licensed to teach. Regardless of whether I need that license for my current job (I don't, although I get paid more when I have it).
-I could do another alternative licensure process and try to get licensed to teach Social Studies by making a ginormous portfolio and paying some committee more than $1000 to evaluate it. Then I would be licensed to teach SS in Vermont. But if I tried to move again, who knows.
The most long-term option is to suck it up, pay tuition, and go through a real master's of education program in teaching. Then, I will get a license from Vermont, and it will be recommended by a four-year accredited institution, which, as I have sadly found out, appears to be the key to this whole mess. Imagine...
Dorothy (Becky) goes up to the gate of the Emerald City (State Department of Ed). "What do you want?" asks the creepy man.
"I want to see the wizard (get a teaching license)," replies Dorothy (Becky).
"No."
"I graduate cum laude from the honors program at a top-twenty university."
"No."
"I have experience teaching. In a low-performing district. I made SIGNIFICANT GAINS!"
"No."
"I have a master's degree in education."
"Oh?"
*mumbles* "Gifted education."
"We don't have that in this place (Vermont)."
"Well, my colleague the scarecrow here has no brain and studied bulletin-board making in his undergraduate program. He has no content expertise, but he CAN create an attendance chart and time-out corner. It took him twenty tries to pass the Praxis, and even then he just squeaked by. But he has a teaching degree from an accredited college/university."
"Well, that's a horse of a different color! Come right in!"
I think that little sketch explains perfectly the problems I have with the education teaching system today (at least as far as licensure is concerned). I'm not saying that there AREN'T good teachers who go through the traditional path. I'm not saying that all teaching programs are bad. And I'm not saying that everyone who wants to teach should be able to just jump right in. But cut me some slack -- I'm not just a bum off the street who's never been in a classroom, here.
The downside to this new option is going into debt for another degree that I don't feel like I need in order to be a good teacher. The upside is having the degree and license that will make me truly mobile and give me career options. And it sucks for the short-term, but in the long-term, I think it's a good decision for us as a family. There are a lot of ifs that have to happen for this to work, however. 1. Andy has to find a job in Vermont so we can stay here. 2. Andy has to find a job that pays what our two incomes currently make so he can support me for the year (and oh, how I cringe to say that). 3. My job has to agree to take me back, because my life will be a sad sad place if this job doesn't exist for me anymore. 4. My three recommenders have to actually WRITE the letters of recommendation.
But, for the time being, the name of the game is keeping options open. And from many angles, this appears to be a good one.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The big day...
We did it. I'm married. And it feels pretty much the same as it did before the wedding, except I got to see all of my friends for an awesome party, and now I get to explain how to pronounce "Proulx" for the rest of my life.
The wedding weekend was fabulous and wonderful, and when the only minor problem is a broken bustle and too few people renting cars, you know things are pretty awesome.
We started the weekend with “Christmas” with our families, since we didn’t travel home for the holidays, which was really nice. This filtered straight into New Year’s Eve, complete with a dueling families Trivial Pursuit challenge (Yes, we are nerds), dominos, champagne, Dick Clark, etc. Good fun.
I went out with girlfriends the night of the 1st for my own low-key bachelorette party. We tried to go to an Irish pub in town, but they were closing early because it was New Year’s Day (WTF?). Then, we waited for an hour at a restaurant across the street, but they couldn’t serve us quickly enough, so we ended up going out for pizza, which turned out to be awesome. After pizza, we met with my (underage) bridesmaid and went to see Benjamin Button, which was girly and ok…although the Hurricane Katrina subplot gave me some minor PTSD. All in all, it was a nice night with people I loved to see, with no drama and drunkeness which was wonderful and perfect for me.
The day before the wedding, I went to church with my mother and friend who were singing and playing for the wedding, so they could have a music rehearsal. My mother has a beautiful voice, and my friend lugged her tuba from NYC on a bus so she could play for us. Andy and I met in college marching band, and she was in the section with us, so it was lovely that she could represent! After rehearsal, I had dinner with Andy and one of our groomsmen, and went to sleep for a few hours before the real giant fun began.
Rehearsal was that night, and went well, and then, we all went out to our awesome bowl-o-rama rehearsal dinner. We spent the night bowling and chatting and eating and drinking, and had a blast. I was so relieved that our friends got along really really well, and everyone had a great time. My family beat Andy’s family in our
head-to-head bowling challenge, 
which was sweet redemption for their win at Trivial Pursuit.
Perhaps the best moment of the evening was when I looked over to see Andy and the groomsmen with bumpers up, and Andy losing the game. I went to chastise him, and he calmly explained, “No, we’re playing to see who can get the lowest score.” I cracked up. But the night was great -- we had people from college dorms and band, people from grad school, family, and most exciting, two of my friends from
The day of the wedding was cold and windy, but we had some sunshine, which has been a rare sight in
as of late. My motto of the day is, “Eh, what happens, happens,” and pictures, the ceremony, and reception went wonderfully.
We got married at the Cathedral downtown, then a limo took us to our reception at a hotel south of town, with a short stop to Ben and Jerry’s for some pints along the way. I got lots of comments and compliments on the homemade details in the wedding – our origami flowers, the cardigan I crocheted for myself and my Mom, the sash my friend and Grandma embroidered and sewed, my veil, our centerpieces/favors, etc.
It was great fun to see it all come together. The food was wonderful, the music was great, the dancing was fun, 
and afterwards, went to the hotel restaurant/bar to hang out with people.
Friday, January 2, 2009
You can do it. Channel the inner bridezilla!
Last night was my "bachelorette party," which was decidedly un-bachelorette party-like, which is exactly why it was perfect. About 9 of my friends were in early enough to hang out, so we went for drinks and dinner (which was a trial of my patience, and we just ended up eating pizza), and then went to see Benjamin Button. Nothing crazy, nothing wild, and I was nervous about how all of my friends from different walks of life would get along, but in the end, it was totally pleasant and fun.
Wedding plans are steaming ahead, today is the rehearsal and bowl-o-rama. The only minor hiccup so far has been a shortage of cars -- everyone decided NOT to rent one. D'oh! But after I get my wedding party and wedding helpers to the church for the rehearsal, then there is nothing else I can do, and I just need to rely on the taxies in town. And really, if that is my biggest worry, then I am in great shape.
I am not mentally nervous thus far, but as I have aged, I have developed a heck of a case of stage fright, and right now, the thought of everyone staring at me as I go down the aisle is taking my stomach for a ride. Also, I can almost guarantee that my voice will be shaky and I will forget to breathe during vows. But, c'est la vie. Other brides have made it through and I can, too.
Lastly, people better dance at my reception.
And when I next post, I shall be Mrs. Walter-Proulx. Oh, excuse me, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. (From the barfiness of anticipating my new name. Not from nerves.)
PS: Chava was delightful and thoughtful enough to honor me with this Uber Amazing Blog Award.
I cannot fathom why my little blog of randomness would be so blessed, but I thank her heartily, and apologize for not dedicating an entire entry to the award right now. In leiu, I will post a picture of the cardigans I have been crocheting, which she asked to see recently:
Other wedding crafts appear below:
Wedding plans are steaming ahead, today is the rehearsal and bowl-o-rama. The only minor hiccup so far has been a shortage of cars -- everyone decided NOT to rent one. D'oh! But after I get my wedding party and wedding helpers to the church for the rehearsal, then there is nothing else I can do, and I just need to rely on the taxies in town. And really, if that is my biggest worry, then I am in great shape.
I am not mentally nervous thus far, but as I have aged, I have developed a heck of a case of stage fright, and right now, the thought of everyone staring at me as I go down the aisle is taking my stomach for a ride. Also, I can almost guarantee that my voice will be shaky and I will forget to breathe during vows. But, c'est la vie. Other brides have made it through and I can, too.
Lastly, people better dance at my reception.
And when I next post, I shall be Mrs. Walter-Proulx. Oh, excuse me, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. (From the barfiness of anticipating my new name. Not from nerves.)
PS: Chava was delightful and thoughtful enough to honor me with this Uber Amazing Blog Award.
I cannot fathom why my little blog of randomness would be so blessed, but I thank her heartily, and apologize for not dedicating an entire entry to the award right now. In leiu, I will post a picture of the cardigans I have been crocheting, which she asked to see recently:
Other wedding crafts appear below:
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